Thank you, readers, for your feedback. You span the globe far and wide. 

“Rarely have I dog-eared, underlined, and written as many comments in the margins as I did while reading The Narcissist in Your Life. Thank you for filling in the blanks for so many of us who were raised by narcissistic parents, even those who are educated in mental health and personality disorders like myself. I have been following your blog for years and always find it exceptionally well-written, highly informative, and compassionate. . . . Thank you again for the valuable and important work you’re doing. I find it extremely beneficial.”

—Miranda, MSW

“Your book has been an exceptional resource for me.”

—Bob

“What you have written here is pure gold. It is a game changer for me.”

—CB

“Julie L. Hall deserves the largest audience. Her book has been the most painful painful book to read. She speaks truths that cannot be imagined. But she speaks and bares truth. Please let her know that her work, her calm demeanor, her vast knowledge, and how she shares gives oxygen. Every therapist should be required to read her book before they practice.”

—Sharona

“Your book is phenomenal. I don’t know any books like it. You know my life story.”

—Amy

“Thanks for a brilliant website and such helpful info Julie. Your work is a beacon of hope to many and having found it, I will share it widely. Bless you.”

—Paul, Psychotherapist

“Someone on Quora recommended your book. I got it, and immediately realized my life is going to change. From inside. For the better! Everywhere I open it and read is something profound, specific, relevant and completely true for me!!!!!!! I’ve underlined nearly everything, piece at a time, with little stars and brackets in the margins, because every sentence, nearly every WORD, is an illumination!!!!!!!!! I don’t usually use exclamation marks. I was reading it today awash with gratitude for you, so I searched and found your email and I just want you to know that your work and care, and personality are really helping someone. Probably many people. Certainly this person! I’d not identified myself as Co-Dependent, but your description fits. So, though that diagnosis isn’t fun, I do feel hope that there’s a path to a cure, that you’re providing in your book. Thank you so much!!! I might have to email my thanks again sometime, as I continue to read and discover. After years of therapy, I had mostly confusion and disappointment. But with this new tool, that fits the job so perfectly, I believe I might make it through.”

—Janan

“I am overcome with gratitude this morning regarding the insight and recovery I have experienced as a direct result of your book! Because of your book, I was able to identify and put a name to the crazy making in my life. I ultimately sought treatment and I am on the path to recovery. I lead a weekly Coda meeting and I often reference your book since it revealed so much for me. I want to thank you personally though you don’t know me at all. Your work is very important and has helped me immensely. It is not often that I reach out to total strangers, you know, boundaries and all. Nevertheless, I want to boost you up in love and light for your significant and thoughtful work. Thank you so much.”

—Becky

“Bless you for your work. The tears are running down my face. I discovered yesterday, at 63, I am a scapegoat. I am a combination of your truthteller and perfectionist/achiever. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Thank you so much. I’ve been in pain my whole life. It wasn’t me, was it?”

—Lisa

“Your explanations and teaching points about narcissism and the experience of being in relationships with narcissists are the most relatable, true-to-life, and useful I’ve come across. I’ve pointed patients in my psychiatry practice to your website and recommend your book as resources.”

—Susan, MD

“Wait—you’re *that* Julie Hall, aren’t you? Thanks for the site, and book . . . they were like the instruction manual that should have come with the group of relatives I was born into. You’re a hero to me.”

—Jack

“Your book is the bible of narcissism.”

—Anne

“Thank you for writing the most succinct, perceptive, and salient article I’ve ever read about being the child of a vulnerable narcissist.”

—Megan

“I have been reading some of your articles on narcissistic behaviour, and I felt compelled to write to you, to thank you for your work. I have been dealing with a rather nasty mother for most of my life, and it has been a struggle, but reading your materials has certainly improved my understanding of her behaviour, and mine. I was surprised how little I knew about this sort of behaviour – I spent 25 years in the RCMP, Canada’s national police force, and have both a bachelor and a graduate degree – but I learned so much from your articles, and I intend to learn more. Thank you once again for opening my eyes to all of this.”

—Luther

“I have read your book several times. It’s incredibly validating.”

—Becca

“I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your writing style and insights into Narcissism. I read so much about Narcissistic Abuse but it is rare that I find authors who so thoroughly understand the subtleties of this thing. So, I was out on Psychology Today and reading the recently published article about attachment issues for children of narcissists. As I was going through it, I was saying ‘Who wrote this?’ since most therapists and other mental health professionals don’t seem to get it still. And then I saw that it was ‘Julie L. Hall’ and I said, ‘Of course!’ Thanks for using your prodigious writing skills to explicate these dynamics for the world, including us adult children of these people.”

—John

“My partner recently sent me your article “52 Ways to Identify a Covert Narcissist” and in reading it I identified nearly all of them in my own behavior. I’m very thankful for your article.”

—Andy

“The Narcissist Family Files is the best, most detailed, and extensive writing about narcissism on the interwebs.”

—Colleen

“I am so grateful to you, for you. Thank you for your book, website, newsletter, and your help. You are awesome.”

—Liza

“I just wanted to let you know I am honored to get the benefit of the healing that comes from your free stuff. Your intelligence has a strength that goes beyond courage and I thank you. Feel good about you—I hope you do because lady you fill in the previous gaps in accurate narcissist info by yourself. I’m grateful for you. Good vibes to you!”

—Kathi

“I have to tell you, you’re a super badass, and you saved my life.”

—Jean

“Finding your website literally saved my life. After years and years of searching for answers to help me understand my family dysfunction and fearing I might really just be crazy (like most of my family says), I had fallen into a suicidal depression. Realizing that I am the family scapegoat and the true extent of the abuse I have suffered at the hands of my mother was astonishing. I stayed up most of the night reading as many of your articles  as I could, weeping. I set sail on an ocean of grief and even though I have yet to find dry land, I found the courage to finally completely cut myself off from the abuse. There are days when the loss of my family is engulfing. But because of you I no longer feel so incredibly alone in my situation. And I no longer want to die. Thank you from the depths of my soul.”

—Alicia

“I wanted to thank you for writing in a way that is factual yet has compassion. Thank you so much for your contributions, it’s really helping us out here on the front lines.”

—Chuck

“I just read your article about the narcissistic brother and I THANK YOU DEEPLY for validating something I knew was happening with my closest older brother. You nailed it on the head with the behaviors and how he treated me when I started to develop my own life separate from his lead. I’m so glad I followed my instincts and got away . . . and finally found an article—your article—that completely backs me up. Thank you.”

—Gina

“I’ve had two personal therapists and two couples therapists over the past 15 years to try and help my relationship to my wife, but in the first 30 pages of your book I’ve learned more about her narcissism than all of that. I feel like I’ve regained my sanity and now can work towards something as opposed to waiting for an answer to my feelings of isolation. Thanks for writing the book and helping those of us who have been gaslighted for so long and yet passed over by the professionals.”

—Chris

“I have never written to an author in my life and I have read lots and lots of books, but I wanted to let you know how much your book has helped me. I was really desperate to understand how I could make sense of my ex-husband’s behaviors towards our daughter. Neither CPS nor Family Court helped her. The Reunification therapist did not recognize the abuse and did not help my daughter. The therapist at Seattle Children’s Hospital did not help my daughter. I’m really sad the systems and people who are supposed to help children do not recognize emotional abuse and the harm that it does to children and teenagers. Your book has helped me understand the patterns of manipulation and the damage that they inflict. I knew because I had experienced it but reading it really helped me. I have since recommended the book to many people but in particular, two close friends that read it and realized their ex-partners are narcissists. The first time I read it was helpful but the 2nd and 3rd tines I have really meditated on it and there is so much wisdom. It has helped me more than any therapist has. Thank you for your work and for shining a much needed light on this subject so that those impacted can understand and feel validated in their suffering and have some ideas about what they can do about it.”

—Nelly

“Thank you for the clear reminders and much needed validation! Wow! I am so grateful!!”

—Krista

“I want to thank you for your book. Reading it has been a life changing experience. I’m sure I’m not alone in valuing its existence in the world! I’m still trying to make sense of what I’ve been through, but your book has helped me come a long way with it all. Thank you (truly).”

—Tay

“You really nailed it Julie. I’ve read a lot of articles on Narcissistic parents, listened to scores of videos, and this was the best, most accurate assessment, in my personal experience, of what covert Narcissism feels like and looks like. Thank you for getting it right.”

—Alison

“Your book was eye opening to finally understand what has been going on since my mom died. The book outlines all the behavior and motivation that my sister in law and brother have done. It confirms my decision to not have direct contact with them after being stabbed in the back too many times. Thank you for the help your book has given me.”

—Todd

“Your book is amazing! I couldn’t put it down. I flew through it. It cracked a lot of things open for me. I’ve been in therapy on and off for 20 years, and no one said what you’re saying.”

—MaryAnn

“Someone quoted you on Instagram and I found your book and listened to you and wanted to reach out. Not many people have your level of knowledge. I’ve read many books on this topic but nothing like yours.”

—Brayton

“Your blog played a major role in opening my eyes to what was actually happening with my family. I cannot begin to thank you enough for your contributions to a largely misunderstood and highly complex dynamic. Had it not been for your incredible works, I may have never begun to unravel this rat’s nest of chaos that was wreaking havoc on my life. Your content has helped me beyond measure to finally see the light, and I cannot wait to learn more from you about the recovery process!”

“Julie, I came upon your article today and it was a huge eye opener for me. I have read thousands of pieces on narcissism and been the scapegoat for my husband’s family 15 years. This is the MOST comprehensive article I have ever read which explains the dynamic on their side and why it is so dysfunctional. Thank you . . . now I can put all the puzzle pieces together. I hope you will consider a YouTube channel. You would be so incredibly helpful to so many who don’t understand this sick dynamic of a narc family.”

—K.

“I appreciate you writing to bring awareness about this issue because too many mental health professionals don’t even understand the dynamics involved. Thank you for what you do!”

—Susan, Therapist

“Finding your website was a revelation! THANK YOU. I read every article late into the night in one sitting.”

—Monica

“I am reading your book for the first time, and I am blown away. Your book has been so validating and it’s been a catalyst for so much more self-trust and self-confidence within my heart. Thank you!”

—Craig

“Your blog and website have been extremely helpful for me. I’m sure it’s a gift to many. Please know how grateful I am to you for this.”

—Julie

“’You’ve saved my life’ is an understatement. I have found your website incredibly helpful as a daughter of a narcissistic mother. I have read every article religiously, so you can imagine my joy when I discovered you wrote a book!”

—Jana

“Ms. Hall you are hands down the best writer on this disorder, capturing the experience perfectly. Your writing style is excellent as well.”

—Joe

“Your book is fantastic. I’m a health and science writer and journalist, and you do what I call empathic writing.”

—Suzanne

“Frankly, I wish I could buy you a whole Starbucks. Your website has been so helpful, thank you so much.”

—S., on Buy Me a Coffee

“I’m reading The Narcissist in Your Life and it has already validated quite a few major experiences in my life and I’m only on page 36. It made me feel lighter, and that I’m not crazy! I believe your book will help me heal and move on from the trauma. Thank you.”

—Tiffany

“Thanks for everything you do to educate people about this horrible issue. I have so many times found solace and clarification reading your blog and your book.

—Avra

“Thank you for the work you’ve done that has been so valuable to me as a person who has been traversing the challenge of my life in healing from the effects of my long-term narcissistic enmeshment.”

—Shannon

“Wow. I am in awe. Speechless. You nailed every head to the wall and through to the neighbors’ property, specified every tree, detailed every plant, pointed out every speck of dust. You’re fascinating and wonderful for knowing this and having the heart to take time to write and help others. Thank you very, very much. (God bless.)”

—Sophia

“[This is] excellent insight from an insider, aka, one who has lived it, not having merely studied it in print.”

—Clay

“I just finished reading The Narcissist in Your Life, which one of my sisters recommended. It is such a relief that finally my five siblings and I can name the beast with whom we had to live our whole childhoods. These days, decades after our abuse, bookstores and the web are teeming with information about narcissist parents, and the fallout experienced by their children. Your book is one of my favorites, and it has generated much dialogue between us as we try to heal. Please keep writing your books and your blog. I am sure you are helping many people.”

—Kathleen

“Your analysis is always very astute; it matches my experience, is validating and super informative. I am very grateful for everything you have written; it helps my recovery from severe childhood, narcissistic abuse & victimization.”

—John

“Bought your book yesterday! Thanks for your great articles.”

—Karen

“Out of the 13 books I have read about narcissism, and narcissism recovery, I was most affected by your book. Thank you for writing it.”

—Teresa

“I would like to say thank you and how grateful I am for your website and all the content on it! I have spent my entire life feeling like I was crazy, had too high expectations, and was selfish because I attempted to call out the dynamics I had to endure from a narcissist. It was such a relief to find your site and see that I am not alone and most definitely not crazy.”

—Linnine

“Your book was fantastic.”

—Clare

“Thank you for the insightful article, it was a very eye-opening read.”

—Christina

“Through many different tribulations and realizations, I was able to find my way to your website last night. For the first time I felt like I could understand where I am going wrong in my household, marriage, personal relationships, etc. I am thankful for your words.”

“Thank you for writing this amazing piece. It put things into perspective for me. I appreciate the help!”

—Tiahna

“This is  a simple THANK YOU for your narcissist family files website. I have spent 3 years in a relationship with a covert variety – only just being able to label them for my own benefit in the past 2 months. My eyes are open, my life has changed. I have been playing catch up because I had no idea people this cunning existed. I feel so naïve but my lived experience is textbook. There is not one point of any of the readings that doesn’t resonate. Thank you for such an amazing resource.”

—Paula

“Oh, thank you so much for this! I thought I was the only one who could see the patterns everywhere. Narcissist gods, narcissistic politicians. The personal is political—it’s the same pattern everywhere. I write about it in on my FB page, but people just don’t seem to be interested! I’m glad I found you years ago and that you feel the same way I do.”

—Sarah

“The broken-down old house on the homepage is perfect. And thank you so much for this.”

—Deborah

“Julie, your writing has helped me understand my wife’s family, and provides important insight as our family breaks the cycle of abuse and heals. I never imagined how toxic the narcissistic family dynamic could be.”

—Miguel

“Thank you so much for writing such a validating article on covert narcissistic abuse. It is hard to come by information on this topic!

—Diana

“Thank you for insightful, healing work, and bringing that to the world. My world.”

—Alison

“I am the scapegoat of my family. For the first time in my 52 years, I feel like someone understands.”

—Sheryl

“Your website is so wonderful, and when you live the experience of a narcissistic family, it is a relief to have a witness to a set of phenomena that is so difficult to describe.”

—Christopher

“Aside from a fabulous writer and photographer, you are truly astute on the subject of narcissism. Throughout my research, yours is the best and most user friendly. I will now be an avid fan. Thank you for your contribution to those of us looking for answers, healing, and a way of arming ourselves through knowledge.”

—Karina

“So eloquent and powerful. I just felt understood for the first time my life! Thank you.”

—Katy

“Your lucid, powerful writing style is a joy. I’ve read all of your blog postings and HuffPost articles. I have often pointed friends to your articles. When your books are out I will buy them. Thanks again for your contributions. You’ve truly helped a lot of people.”

—Don

“These passages are so exact and poignant, and explain a lot very quickly. A great help, thank you.”

—Gina

“I can’t thank you enough for ending a lifetime search and thousands of dollars and hours of psychiatric appointments including being committed to a mental institution twice before the age of 14. Your words literally cured me after 50 years. Now I am DOING things! I am finishing things! I am on a roll! I have things in order in my house, my mind, my life. God bless you.”

—Kristin

“This is a wonderful, compassionate piece of thought and writing by you, Julie. Thanks so much.”

—David

“I recently read your book and SO much resonated with me. I am a social worker who works in the field of mental health by profession. I just wanted to thank you so much for creating this space and your guide for people struggling. After decades of gaslighting and being made to feel like the difficult/crazy one, it has been infinitely helpful and validating to read your work and know I am not alone in my experience.”

—Laura, Social Worker

“I love every word I’ve read.”

—Mary Ellen, Therapist specializing in CPTSD

“I read your article ‘Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body, and Here’s Why’ and my jaw literally fell open. All these years I have struggled with the baggage of being raised by my mother, but I was never able to label her before. I can’t believe it has taken me this long to realize that she had NPD. Reading that article was mind-blowing; it sounded like you were talking directly to me, that you had been reading my diary! Thank you so much.”

—Juliet

“I picked up your book by chance, and it was incredible for me: finally, validation. I had emotional flashbacks, I cried, and I passed the book on to my father. Thank you for writing it: You helped to validate something that has never before been truly validated.”

—Allie

“I just found your website and am in awe. You put into words so much of what I have been feeling for years. Thank you!”

—Joanne

“Thank you for such a wonderful resource. I have no doubt I will frequently use your book as a reference moving forward.”

—Thomas

“At the age of 67, you have helped me understand who the narcissists in my life are. Thank you!”

—Kathleen

“I just read your article, ‘The 12 Rules of a Dysfunctional Narcissistic Family.’ OMG, you nailed it big time! I am the ninth child of ten and my family of origin could be the poster child for all 12 of your rules . . . to the max. Thank you. I am looking forward to taking in your book as well.”

—Joanie

“Thank you for your insightful, healing work, and bringing that to the world. My world.”

—Alison

“I’ve been voraciously reading your articles on Huffpost. I am somewhat in utter disbelief that someone can so accurately describe my childhood growing up under a narcissist mother and enabling father. Looking forward to reading more. Just wanted to say thank you for helping make a stranger feel like I am not crazy finally!”

—Dan

“I just wanted to write and thank you for putting your book into the world, “The Narcissist in Your Life.” I’ve gained several new, invaluable insights from it. A lot of the material I’ve read says very similar things, but your book is well written and spoken (it seems) from real world experience. It speaks to me directly and says things that I wish I had said or maybe I had subconsciously thought or wondered about and not articulated. I’m on the last 20 or 30 pages of your book, but I wanted to personally reach out tonight and let you know how helpful it has been. Even though I’ve studied a lot about this, your ideas and explanations are often different than other peoples’, so thank you for making the effort to put this helpful guide out there for others.”

—Paula

“I find your articles brilliant and so helpful.”

—Pera

“I’m writing from Buenos Aires, Argentina, to thank you! I’ve just read an article written by you on the damage and abuse I’ve experienced as the daughter of a narcissistic father and a mother who has never stopped him from using me as a scapegoat for his rage outbursts. I really want to thank you for making me see so clearly and tenderly that I truly need to understand, accept, and stop hurting myself for feeling the way I do still at 51 and give myself a happier life.”

—F.

“My profound thanks for this, Julie. This is the best summary of this topic I’ve ever read. I was the child of two emotionally abusive narcissists. I’ve suffered every one of the symptoms you list throughout my life.”

—Byron

“Your work is absolutely amazing!”

—Rachel

“I found your website on narcissistic families yesterday and wanted to thank you for putting it out into the world: It is a true godsend! It is the best resource for survivors of narcissistic parenting and abuse I have found—well-written and highly informative. Thank you so much! Good luck with your books, I will be following your blog and be reading them when they come out!”

—Wendy, Psychologist & Author

“My entire life I felt that I was crazy and alone until I found your website.”

—Keveyon

“I cannot possibly thank you enough for your amazing work. The help to process the damage done to those of us affected is life changing. It makes it possible to heal and repair this damage. For me, it is impossible to describe in a sentence or two the ways it has healed lifelong wounds. I am 52 years old, so this is a big deal.”

—Senta

“I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have been in tremendous pain all my life having been raised by a narcissistic father and co-dependent mother. I have had eating disorders, addiction problems, severe depression and anxiety, and three suicide attempts, just to name a few of my problems. Yesterday I read several of your articles. Today I ordered your book and listened to your podcast on the scapegoat and golden child. It was the very first time someone explained everything I am going through.”

—Krista

“Thank you for your recent post on Praise. My ex wife used it as a manipulative tool, being extremely narcissistic. Your article helps to continue the closure aspect for me.”

—George

“I admire your work.”

—Elena, Psychiatrist

“Your articles have helped me enormously with understanding my family dynamic. I feel like you are speaking directly to me.”

—Ashleigh

“Thank you for your wisdom. I am healing and reeling from my two extremely narcissistic parents. Seeing that my experiences aren’t specific to me (i.e. my fault) helps tremendously.”

—Heather

“This was the very best read about narcissism!! It was so exact, and I thank you so much for clarifying what I need to do now, and I Thank God for leading me to this information 💗.”

—Deborah

“Wow. Reading your piece ‘Raised By a Narcissist? 11 Healing Things to Do for Yourself Right Now’ on Huffington Post was like reading a summary of my life. I’m only beginning to explore your site, but I match every symptom of someone suffering from narcissistic abuse (I call it soul rape). I was so excited when I came across it! I’ve tried to talk to so many people about my issues and no one understands. I plan to do phone sessions with you at some point but am going to read as much of your work as possible for now. Thanks again so much. You’re really helping people. I’ve felt so lost, and this morning you’ve given me hope.”

—Cory

“Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your life-saving website.”

—Agata

“I just wanted to write you a quick thank you for your amazing 2017 article on the Huffington Post “Raised by a Narcissist? 11 Healing Things You Can Do Right Now.” This article ticked all the boxes for me and has helped me connect the dots of my own struggles. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing insight. I feel it has started me on a healing path.”

—Robert

“Thank God I finally found a wonderful therapist. And you. Now I’m reborn at age 38, and since that day about a month ago, I have searched the internet and spent countless hours reading blogs and watching videos. Yours is the only one that gets everything right, every time. . . . I feel like I know you. . . . I don’t want to miss a post.”

—Laura

“Your writing is excellent, insightful, and, most of all, fresh. I have noted when your book is due out, and look forward to reading it.”

—Joy

“Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world. Finding information on narcissism and family narcissism in particular was the missing piece of my puzzle in a long and traumatic abuse cycle. Your information is the best that I have found and you have a real gift for putting this into words. I so appreciate it and I’m so glad I found your website. With so much gratitude.”

—Alice

“The best article on the way the dynamics play out that I have ever read. Blast those delusions out of my head!! Thank you!!”

—Mark

“I have read your articles and am so looking forward to reading your book. You have hit the nail on the head. I just wish your book was out now. Every day is a challenge. Thank you so much for this help for people like me. I can’t wait for more insight into my Mum’s disorder. I’m a nurse so doubly interested.”

—Suzie

“LOVE your intelligence & style, love reading you, like so many other people do! You are brave, smart, beautifully well-educated, and kind—do keep going :)).”

—Lana

“Thank you for helping us heal from abuse!”

—Goran

“Wow!!! I’ve been reading for years on narcissism to understand my toxic relationship with my mother and my entire family system and this phenomenal post—and the synonym “fraud”—is like a massive light bulb going off!!! Yeah. Thank you!”

—Rae

“I just came across your site tonight and how blessed I feel!! Thank you so much for everything you are doing for all of us who have suffered!! God bless you.”

—Antoinette

“Thank you for writing about narcissistic families. It is sad and validating to learn there are other families like my in laws. I greatly appreciate how you can put words to a lived experience”

—Susanne

“Thank you Julie for writing this article on such an important topic. Your experience will resonate for those readers who have suffered from the effects of a NPD. For some it may be the first introduction to the naming of what happened in childhood which can lead to the seeking of more information, help, the discovery of the authentic Self and recovery/healing. I look forward to reading more of your articles on this topic.”

—Julie, Marriage and Family Therapist

“Thank you for your excellent work. Thank you for lighting a candle. Being aware is soooooo much better than living a life of self hatred. With love and gratitude.”

—Shelley

“Your articles help me understand our “family” dynamics more. All those things were always there, it was only hard to see them for what they are. I am on the journey of healing and changing my life for the better. It is great to find such help!”

—anonymous

“My life is just beginning now at 59 years old. I feel free! I know I can heal from this. Keep up the research in this field of narcissistic abuse. The life you saved was mine. Thank you.”

—Denise

“LOVE YOUR SITE!”

—Megan

“How thankful I am that you have the gift of writing. It is due to your articles, only yours, which finally made sense to me and it all clicked, that I understand the dynamics with my family. Your articles were so clearly written, informative and while you did express your pain it was not over shadowing the message, which is what I was seeking just to make sense of it all and then give a framework of how to cope. I hope you have found the peace and healing you deserve, and it gives me great hope that I will find my way now too!! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.”

—Rory

“Your articles have brought a lot of light into all the shadows around here. Thank you.”

—Andrea

“Love your website and all your wonderful words on narcissistic families. Every word resonates for me. .  . I would love to obtain a copy of your memoir but cannot find where to purchase it online. Could you advise? Keep up your great work.”

—Christine

“This article is dead on! I’m dealing with this at work. I love how this helps arm me for the difficulties I face.”

—Chris

“I just want to say I appreciate you and your work more than you know. Thank you.”

—Jessie

“I am really quite impressed with your website and your work. I know you’re the right person to talk to my friend. Other therapists have not worked.”

—Jane, Master of Social Work

“You are amazing! Everything I have read so far is incredibly accurate. I Love your work!”

—Dan

“Thank you SO much for bringing an understanding of NPD to the world. I can’t thank you enough; I truly thought I’d lost my mind.”

—William

“Read your brilliant articles. Very grateful for your work. Take care and lots of love XX.”

—anonymous

“That is a dynamite article—thank you so much for taking the time to clearly communicate all that vital information. I especially appreciate that you have a clear picture of the differences between C-PTSD and borderline adaptations.”

—Patricia

“THANK you for all of your hard work.  I’m finally feeling vindicated now after 60+ years. Your blog has certainly made it clearer to me that my family was riddled with narcissism, and it wasn’t my fault, no matter how much they pointed their fingers at me. I’m looking forward to your memoir.”

—Ruthe

“I came across one of your blog articles on Facebook, and wow, does it resonate! I am really looking forward to your book.”

—Kathy

“Thank you! For helping clarify a very murky family situation. Giving us a road map to healing and happier life. Can’t wait for your book.”

—anonymous

“Thank you so much for this site! My family and several of my relationships are textbook examples of the trauma here! I feel as if you have interviewed me and this is my biography. It helps to feel that I’m not alone. Wow!”

—M. M.

“Thanks for your incredible insight.”

—Emmie

“Your articles are extremely helpful in understanding the role of the scapegoat as well as that of the golden child. I was sexually abused from early childhood until late teens by my parents, and within the violent child and teen pornography ring they were associated with. My brother was never part of this, and naturally played the role of the golden child. I later married a woman who is the obvious scapegoat in her family. We have broken ties with both abusive family systems years ago in order to achieve peace of mind, but your insightful articles clearly explain the two supposedly opposing roles and the parents who create them. Thank you!”

—Darren

“Your articles have been a lifesaver! Looking forward to reading your book.”

—anonymous

“Thanks for all your work. I am a therapist by day and a recovering scapegoat by night, recently reinjured by my dad. With a good dose of passive/controlled mom. The way you framed things really helped me begin to come to peace and honesty about my family of origin. Fortunately, I have a whole chosen family to mirror my true self. Thanks again; your work matters.”

—T. W., Therapist

“This is hands down the most well-written, thorough description of a narcissist that I’ve ever read.”

—Sheila

“I have read excerpts from your book and would be glad to buy a copy. I am fascinated both professionally and personally and hope to have the chance to read your work in its entirety.”

—Katie, Master of Social Work & Registered Social Worker

“You write so well Julie. You make me feel infinitely less alone. I can only imagine how many others you reach, with the clarity of your thoughts and words.”

—Jenn

“Thank you for this! It is so spot on to what happened to me. Very nice to see it explained so succinctly!”

—Dave

“Your is the most succinct and accurate description of a covert narcissist I have found (after days and days of reading). Thank you for this affirmation of the mind f*ckery these people do. It is a great resource for the foot soldiers in this constant battle to tackle the toxicity.”

—anonymous

“I have just found your website and feel blown away. I would love to read your book when it is published. Thank you so much for bringing awareness and people together who have been through this devastating experience.”

—Vicki

“I have been reading your blog and feel very validated, specifically with your writing on being a child of narcissistic abuse (which is very hard to find!!).”

—Ted, Therapist PsyD LMFT

“You have it all right there inside of you, and you give it to us who never had a mother, every day. You are truly a gift and we would be lost without you.”

—Holly

“I have to tell you I saw my life in your words. I want to thank you, you literally saved my sanity. I read your article exposing the narcissistic family over and over again because it was so spot on. Thank you so much for helping me in my life!”

—Debra

“You’re amazing. Thank you for writing these truths, from a co-parent working hard to be resilient.”

—S. D.

“Thank you for your work, your truth, and the hope you share. At 51, the journey is finally making sense! Now, with the information you’ve shared, I see it all clearly . . . the flying monkey, the golden child, the way my husband ignores our children and is not motivated by empathy, the chronic fatigue and feelings of a “foreshortened life” . . . the reasons why personal growth does not enhance these relationships (but is met with sabotage!), communication skills do not help, relational rules do not apply. The intransigence has a Name. And now that I know that name, I can see what I must do: I must take the energy I have given these relationships and my recovery and put it into living life. MY life, which I am claiming back from all the forces that have tried to make it so much less than what it could be. And THAT is a very encouraging proposition!”

—Kelly

“This list is right on target.”

—April

“I sought therapy, off and on, for over 30 years. I could not understand why, as a relatively high-functioning adult, I had so many “mom issues.” A few months ago, a therapist used the word “narcissist” to define my mother and explained I had PTSD. For the first time, I began educating myself on this topic, reading many of your articles. My jaw literally dropped as I realized “Holy Sh*t! This is MY family she is describing.” The description of the family roles was eerie. After decades of wondering why I could not make things right, I finally see why. Your articles gave me the validation to walk away from a relationship that has caused so much pain and fear and anxiety, nightmares, health issues, and did I mention anxiety? Thank you!”

—Stephanie

“I love your site. . . . If I make it out of this relationship alive, I’ll be sure to donate or web-support you any way I can. THIS IS CRITICAL INFORMATION THAT CAN SAVE LIVES.”

—Charlie

“Miracle of my life: Thank god for you and your articles.”

—Amelia

“I’m so grateful you wrote this. It has saved me from a great grief I’ve been feeling. This was a wonderful article for me and for that I must thank you.”

—Janelle

“Very helpful article.”

—Daley

“As a newcomer to understanding a narcissistic childhood where my brother and I were each one parent’s scapegoat and the other parent’s golden child, your articles are so clear, totally relatable, and therefore incredibly helpful—thank you!”

—Sassy

“Reading your great blog. Your book is wonderful. Thanks for all!”

—Paulo

“Incredibly helpful and clear tips. Absolutely what I needed to hear as I enter the phase of realising that while I got myself out, my kid is very much still in. Instinctively I did many of the right things, but seeing these validated here will get me through this. Thanks!”

—Lesley

“I can’t wait to read your new book.”

—Michelle

“This is the best description of what happens with a narcissistic mother and what has happened to me in my life that I have ever read.”

—Lisa

“Thank you for writing the book The Narcissist in Your Life. It gave me answers that I never imagined I would find about myself. . . . Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.”

—Karina

“You are spot on, thank you. It is so validating.”

—Katie

“Exactly. Agree 100 percent.”

—John

“You sure hit every nail on the head with that description of the covert narcissist. Thank you for taking your time for us. You are very validating. Bless you!”

—Karen

“Thanks for all your work!”

—Cindy

“I just read excerpts from your lovely book. When might we able to read it? I could underline every word you are saying in your articles. It is such a tough journey being entangled in narcissistic family structures. I look forward to reading your book and thank you for speaking out.”

—Uta

“I’m so thankful for your articles. I can’t wait for your book.”

—Jennifer

“I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about narcissist parents and spreading awareness.”

—Hraday

“I have needed this blog for so long. Read so much for decades, and it is all here.”

—Leila

“Thank you–perfect. Fellow mental health professional, and adult survivor of exactly this abuse. I will definitely be coming back. Thank you.”

—Elise, Licensed Social Worker

“There are some really good articles here dealing with narc coparenting!”

—Thrive After Abuse

“It feels like you are writing about my life. The validation I feel finally finding this information is going to change me. Thank you.”

—Emily

“I’m so incredibly grateful for your resources and helpful insights. Thank you for helping all of us.”

—Lish

“Six solid months of reading lead me to your articles yesterday. They are excellent, forthright, digestible, and inspiring. I want to say thank you, for sharing your knowledge, and yourself. I don’t know how easy or challenging it is to mine your memories and put them on paper, perhaps it’s cathartic in a way, but I felt it important to send you a missive from the other coast, New York City, to say a sincere thank you. If anyone else feels as ‘seen’ and ‘heard’ as I do from reading your articles, you are doing a huge service to this ACoN community.”

—Trisha

“THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your articles. Love and gratitude to you and yours.”

—Bridget

“Thanks for opening my eyes.”

—Ann

“Your articles are helping me to heal. I’m going to continue to read them over and over. They seem like the only thing that I can hold on to right now. Thank you for putting these out where people like me have access to them. I really appreciate that.”

—Zeta

“I’m looking forward to your books!”

—Elinor, Clinical Psychologist & Author

“This entire blog mirrors exactly what my experience was.”

—Amanda

“Thanks Julie, this is great.”

—Grace

“This blog is seriously a lifeline for me right now. Whenever I’m feeling down or unsure reading some of these articles helps bolster my resolve. Amazing to have lived with this my whole life and discover that there is support and terminology and the option of refusing to spend one more day of my life caught in his web.”

—Erin

“I would like to read your book. Please let me know when it is available.”

—Bruce

“I just finished reading about my childhood, better explained through your words than my own. Thank you.”

—Ariel

“Narcissist Family Files, thanks so much. I can’t tell you how much this helps in a way I didn’t even know I needed the help. Such good medicine. Just thank you, so much.”

—Christina

“Yep. All of the above. Julia, thank you so much for writing this blog. It’s helping me to process what the hell happened growing up.”

—Koru

“First and foremost I would like to THANK YOU! for putting in written form so many feelings, thoughts, and emotions which I myself have struggled to understand having been caught in the wrath of my narcissistic ex-wife. It has given me much needed insight into past experiences and three beautiful children from this marriage.”

—José

“Thank you so much.”

—Kelly

“Thank you. My words are feeble to express how yours have helped me.”

—Leea

“You must hear this all the time, but I found your site last week and have been devouring it like a starving person. It’s like I finally found words to describe the dysfunctional relationship with my mother. . . . Thanks again for what you do, it’s really providing a valuable service to so many people.”

—Charity

“You wrote a great book.”

—Linda

“I’m 53 and could never understand the tumultuous relationship between my mother and me. Nothing is ever good enough. Now I know. Thank you for the articles, you may save my life!”

—P. M. D.

“I’m finally able to understand my mother which has given me great peace of mind. Thank you for your invaluable work.”

—grateful reader

“Great and to the point. So very helpful. Thanks.”

—Pat

“Describes my family to a T. Awesome article. Makes me happy to have escaped and spared myself and my children further abuse. Thank you.”

—Anne

“Thank you for doing what you do.”

—Shawna

“Thank you! This was really helpful!!!”

—Joanie

“Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world. My therapist did not get it and I felt very betrayed by her after years of therapy. Your information is the best that I have found and you have a real gift. I’m so glad I found your website.”

—Alice

“This article added a lot for me. Really broke it all down beautifully.”

—Nikki

“Thank you Julia, from the absolute bottom of my heart.”

—Jane

“I’ve been reading your work. There is a lot of junk on the web in the area of narcissistic parents, and I so appreciate the quality of your ideas and writing.”

—Stephanie, Clinical Psychologist and Author

“You write with great clarity and fairness on the subject. And your description of your parents could have been written by me of my parents. Which obviously makes your writing of even more interest to me . . . because, ya know, narcissism. Do you find you have to constantly be vigilant of those traits in yourself as I do? Especially the covert behaviours. Anyway, I greatly enjoy your writing. Thank you.”

—Ruth

“I am astounded. Lightbulbs are going off a mile a minute, and my painful experiences are being validated. THANK YOU so much for your blog!”

—Elizabeth

“Ohmygod, if I believed in one. What an amazing answer.”

—Sharyn, Psychotherapist

“I have read just a fraction of your site, but it is the most clear and succinct of anything I have read online and I know I will continue to find help and support here. I wish you all strength and peace. Thank you.”

—Debra

“Your life-changing work on NPD/narcissistic abuse . . . and its’ effects spoke to me almost like I was reading my own words about my struggles and pain from living with a textbook narcissistic mother in the classic role of a scapegoat child—more so than any other book, article, podcast, on this issue–your words resonated with me.”

—Sara

“Thank you so much for your work. You’ve made a wonderful, wonderful blog and it has helped me beyond measure.”

—F. P.

“I have to tell you, that description is so spot-on and eloquently written. Thank you.”

—Kristin

“Wow! You’re an awesome writer! It’s like you’re standing there with a checklist, telling my ex about herself and the reasons why I can’t stand the thought of her being in any interpersonal relationships. Good on you!”

—Paul

“Everything you describe is spot on.”

—Jeff

“OMG, I can see clearly now. This explains why I have struggled my whole life . . . why I have child-like qualities at 64 years old.”

—Starr

“Julie, what you are doing is profoundly touching. You are being honest and brave, using this experience to evolve and transcend. I have so much faith in you as a mom and a truly decent human being. Sending a great big bouquet of deep respect and admiration. Now I have to pursue all the reading from your link. Have you published your book yet? If so, how can I purchase it?”

—J. A.

“I am very interested in reading your books. Can you please tell me where I can purchase these books? If they are not available yet can you please tell me when they will be available?”

—Alice

“So eloquent and powerful. I just felt understood for the first time my life! Thank you.”

—Katy

“I would like to extend a warm thank you to you for your great article. My father is like this to the teeth.”

—Henri

“A fantastic article that is spot on.”

—Dee

“Thank you for this new layer of revealing insight into the twisted mindf*&k that is the parenting of an NPD.”

—C.

“I read your article on narcissism with great enthusiasm. So wonderfully relieving to hear someone tell it like it is with regard to having had a narcissistic parent.”

—Steve

“Thank you very much for your work on narcissistic family systems and narcissistic abuse, your insights are very helpful.”

—Lucy

“Thank you so much. This article is incredibly helpful. I’ve been divorced 12 years but it has taken a long time for me to understand what exactly I was dealing with.”

—Michelle

“Much gratitude for your hard work and beautiful phrasing. I love your blog!”

—Adrienne

“Your post is incredibly informative. Thank you for your invaluable knowledge.”

—Grace

“This information is vital for the times we live in. Thank you!”

—Derek

“I wanted to thank you for being so brave as to make book of such a difficult situation that can only be well understood by those who had suffered it. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK AND EXAMPLE!”

—Elena

“Fascinating read!”

—Helen

“Thank you very much for your writing concerning narcissism. I’m 26 and just starting to unpack the damage of being raised by a very narcissistic father and very enabling mother. I have a long way to go but your writing is helping me. Do you plan to publish a book on the subject?”

—Anna

“I just finished reading about my childhood, better explained through your words than my own. Thank you.”

—Ariel

“Just came across your blog/HuffPost articles. They are helpful and brilliant—because they allow people to see that countless others around the world have experienced (or are still experiencing) the exact same narcissistic parental-family abuse and dysfunction. Knowing that such dysfunctional narcissistic family systems exist regardless of culture, ethnicity, gender, race, or nationality supports more people to put the light of consciousness on it and thereby expose it.”

—M.

“I’ve loved recently discovering your blog! It has definitely been therapeutic for me as a reader. I read every article. Thanks!”

—Julie

“Thank you for these articles. They read like my life.”

—Rebecca

“Your posts on NFF have been of wonderful help and support. The thoughts and knowledge you share are incredible and powerful. Thank you very much for such helpful information on narcissism.”

—Tatiana

“Thank you so much! My partner’s family is in this right now, and suddenly it’s so clear to me!”

—Monique

“Nailed it on the head.”

—Christy

“Excellent. It’s so nice to get a robust viewpoint in this dark corner for once.”

—Richard

“Reading your material is truly healing.”

—Amanda

“I find your articles to be very well written and enlightening. Thank you for making me feel understood.”

—Tina

“Thanks for your articles. I need to read them regularly.”

—Molly

“Excellent information. Trying to catch up on your small library of related articles and works.”

—Justin

“Wow! This is exactly what I went through. I’m still healing. I feel like my heart and insides are bleeding. A narcissist will destroy you.”

—Kami

“After reading your articles the ugly truth finally becomes clear: It is not our fault! We are not wrong kids! We are worthy of living our lives! Thank you SO SO MUCH.”

—Fanny

“I’ve done A LOT of reading about this subject. Your clear and precise explanation of this brain disorder is far and away the best. Thank you so much. Keep up the good work!”

—Wendy

“Wow! As a scapegoat to a severely wounded narcissist mother who failed to protect me from a sexually abusive father, I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH for taking the time and effort to write your articles!!! The level of understanding and VALIDATION (finally!) that your writings have offered has helped me accept that my perceptions were not a sign of delusional thinking, nor that I am mentally ill. I can see now that my adaptations of isolating myself from my family were an understandable and healthy reaction to a very unhealthy situation. THANK YOU!!!”

—Teresa

“Excellent! Thank you!”

—Neill

“My counselor told me about your site a while ago. I have found it very helpful. Thank you.”

—Kathleen

“I’m writing to thank you for sharing your article, ‘The Narcissist’s Disrespect, Envy, and Contempt.’ I found it on Pinterest and all of your points resonate true with my relationship experiences. I’ll look forward to reading your other works. Thank you for shedding light on these most unfortunate aspects of human behavior.”

—Michael

“Thanks. This was really what I needed to read today.”

—Elaina

“How did it take me so long to find your articles and blog??? Your words are medicine to me.”

—Jen

“Wow, I think you just solved one of my life’s questions. You just nailed my dad’s personality to a tee. Maybe I was dropped on the front porch by the gypsies after all.”

—Barbara

“Your words spoke directly to me, so thank you for that!”

—Jackie

“Oh my goodness . . . it’s so helpful to have words to describe it. My sister and I thank you.”

—C.

“Holy sh*t. Never before have I read such an accurate portrayal of the home I grew up in and the father I continue to know. It’s as if a camera was recording everything.”

—Jeff

“EXCELLENT article!!!!!”

—Korey

“I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your writings. I grew up with a destructive mother who I struggle interacting with to this day. Now that she’s nearing the end it’s especially difficult. So thank you. It helps me understand that what we experienced did happen, isn’t normal, and was/is truly awful.”

—Marijane

“WOW this article hits the nail on the head.”

—Alice

“This article makes all of the insanity make sense. Thank you.”

—Cira

“I’ve read most of your articles by now on narcissism. Thank You. Your words are healing and so honest. I am learning so much and growing in awareness of my life.”

—Kayla

“Perfectly accurate!”

—Bruce

“Ha. Totally agree. I love how you mix the humor with the macabre.”

—Benjamin

“Julie, you have done an absolutely amazing job with your work and it’s been very helpful and informative. Thank you for all that you do.”

—Robin

“What you wrote about the NPD family could have been written specifically about our family, but you could insert names. I was the scapegoat, and the description of the qualities and the problems are exactly what you wrote. I’ve been to a couple of therapists over the years and I wonder why none of them explained what you said in one article. Thank you a thousand times.”

—John

“After 30 years of severe depression and countless failed relationships at work and personal in nature, I discovered NPD and all of the implications of being involved in a relationship with a narcissist. Having spent a year trying to educate myself, I found your writings especially helpful for the sentiments expressed were concise and clear in scope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

—Miriam

“I started to read your blog today, and it’s great for a scapegoat-son!”

—Paulo

“As a newcomer to understanding a narcissistic childhood where my brother and I were each one parent’s scapegoat and the other parent’s golden child, your articles are so clear, totally relatable and therefore incredibly helpful—thank you!”

—Sassy

“Doesn’t get any better than this—GREAT answer.”

—Caroline

“I could not agree more with your description. That was my marriage to a T.”

—Kara

“I do not have enough words to thank you for your compassion and patience. Your personal experience and the research that you have been making holds great value to people who might be going through the same thing you have, though they don’t have the same clarity you do. There was something about your blog that I could relate to from the get-go, and that’s what made me write to you.”

—Maria

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Great article.”

—Melissa

“Julie, that was a fantastic article, and yes, it did resonate with me. I wish I would have had this information when I was a teen.”

—D. G.

“This is all so helpful I could cry. Love your articles. Thank you.”

—Ingrid

“Thank you very very much for all your writings on narcissism. I really wanted to thank you deeply for taking your time to write about a subject that I feel is very much brushed under the carpet and a subject that not many people understand.”

—Tiffany

“Wow!!! I’ve been reading for years on narcissism to understand my toxic relationship with my mother and my entire family system and this phenomenal post is like a massive light bulb going off!!! Yeah. Thank you!”

—Megan

“Poetic, poignant, and powerful.”

—Dan

“One of your articles radically changed my life.”

—Bonnie

“You are such an excellent writer, Julie!”

—Paul

“Thank you, Julie. Your words means a lot to so many of us.”

—Ali

“Julie, thank you so, so much for this. I hold hope that as more people speak out on this difficult and complex topic, others will gain insight about their experiences and seek much-needed support. Scapegoats are targeted not for their weakness but rather their strength, as they are the ones who see clearly what is really behind the curtain and are willing to speak the unvarnished truth. Thank you for your bravery.”

—Regina, National Certified Counselor

“Inspired! Exceptional, brilliantly written, succinct portrait of an NPD! I’m in awe.”

—L. N.

“Just wanted to say a quick thank you for the way in which you detail your experiences, and understandings of all things narcissistic. Not to go into a rant, [but] while I’ve read through countless psychological journals, support forums and articles by the likes of Sam Vaknin, all of the research always had a “hard” edge to it. I found your articles . . . easier to relate to, and don’t really have that clinical, detached approach that hard psych journals and support forums typically adopt. So, my thanks again, and keep up the good work!”

—Rob

“You really hit the nail on the head with this post, Julia, for I feel that I could have written it in almost the exact same words!”

—Another Scapegoated Daughter

“This makes total sense to me. I didn’t even know the meaning of the word until now!”

—Amy

“Thank you so much.”

—K. B. F.

“Your writing has been a big help for my husband and me in processing our experiences with his mother. Having language to put to our experiences and the ability to see them as part of a pattern many people have experienced has been invaluable. Thank you for sharing your expertise!”

—anon

“I have learned so much here, and my life is much happier. Thank you.”

—Sandy

“This is important reading for all Americans… especially holding the narcissist accountable for their behavior—not treating it as normal/acceptable.”

—Bob

“Thank you so much for articulating what I have been experiencing. Your articles have helped me as I work toward healing and creating boundaries to protect myself and my sweet family.”

—Karna, Marriage and Family Therapist

“Such a good read. Explains so much. Thank you. I really wish my sisters and I could have read this years ago.”

—Daliea

“This is Great information that you are sharing! Thank you! ❤”

—Alexis

“Thank you for this encapsulation of so many emotional wounds.”

—T. M. B.

“This post is a perfect description of my NMIL. . . . Thanks for hitting the nail on the head.”

—Sarah

“Thank you for this! It is so spot on to what happened to me. I married a narcissist on top of all that, just like mom, lol. Very nice to see it explained so succinctly!”

—Dave

“Thank you for all you have done to share your knowledge on this insidious plague; I quit my job after 17 years of abuse from my boss. Thanks again.”

—Jill

“That was soberingly accurate . . . both of my parents/older brothers down to the detail.”

—J. R.

“This is so surreal. It’s hard to put into words how true a lot of this is about my mother.”

—Debbie

“Thank you for creating this site, and I love this article. It made me feel like I am seeing the situation I am in with my parents and siblings for exactly what it is.”

—Dina

“Perfect. Yes. Exactly.”

—C. B.

“This article so closely describes my life and family that it’s as though the author has known us all.”

—Suzanne

“Thank you for writing your excellent blog, which I have shared with other readers.”

—Emmanuelle

“I just read several of your articles and found them extremely helpful!!”

—Angela

“This is all correct; it switches between these different behaviours often. It’s maddening, stressful and crazy making.”

—Alison

“Thank you for your work, Julia.”

—Laura

“Enjoyed this article as it really hit the nail on the head. ‘Ordinary’ therapists don’t get it and I have felt more humiliated by them. I’m an adult child, two year’s NC struggle with holding down a job, can’t maintain a relationship (or feel love) and feel completely stuck but cannot find any specific support for this syndrome here in UK. Grateful for any info contacts in UK, many thanks.”

—Kim

“This article fits my life to a T as the scapegoat of my family.”

—Eru

“You are a very excellent writer Julia.”

—Liz

“Excellent article! Insightful and informative.”

—Mary Jane

“This article pinpoints both sides of being raised by a narcissist.”

—B.

“Great article!!”

—Emily

“You said that so well, ‘the scapegoat’s redemption is breaking free’—so true. Wishing you blessings as well.”

—Risé

“Loved this article!!!!!”

—Kathy

“YES, to all of this. These articles are a godsend.”

—T. B.

“Thank you for this accurate and poetically rendered description. Both the shocking and the subtle abuses by narcissists are legion.”

—Kate

“Looking forward to your book!”

—C.

“Great stuff!”

—Tom

“This was very helpful and so true.”

—Donette

“Thank you so much for your website. I can’t overstate how helpful it has been. I was aware that the narcissistic label fit my situation but the specificity and detail you discuss leave no room for me to deny that that’s what I’ve been dealing with. Thank you for the clarity.”

—Nicole

“What a great and factual read!”

—Mary

“Very great read. Important information I needed to hear.”

—Jason

“Julia! I just read your most recent article on Huffington Post and my mind has been blown beyond belief. My husband is an adult child of a narcissist. His real story is one people would have a hard time understanding in a non-fiction novel. He cut all ties of communication with his father 3 years ago and since then has struggled with PTSD: anxiety, depression, insomnia and night terrors. My husband is a beautiful human being inside and out. Wise, intelligent, successful. He has almost lost all that he loves because of the heaviness from his past. We have struggled to find the right therapist. Most people tell him to “suck it up”. It’s so much more than that. I’m reaching out to you today because you are the first person who has ever put exactly what’s going on into words that make sense and are relatable. . . . Thank you.”

—Jill

“This article will be my daily mantra moving forward!”

—Vee

“Thank you, Julia. Your valuable articles continue to provide clues to understanding my own family experiences.”

—Miranda

“You did an excellent job of describing the true essence of the N. Thanks so much for your clarity on the subject.”

—Estella

“Julie, you are brilliant and I so enjoy the narcissist posts.”

—Pilar

“Well written and bang on!”

—Elaine

“Thanks for your story, it made me feel not so alone!”

—Kayla

“True True True.”

—Diana

“Thanks for putting into eloquent words what I suffered through childhood.”

—Mimi

“Love your articles! Thoughtful and well written.”

—Stephen

“I just read your post about the care you’ve been providing for your mother. I’m struck to see how you were treated during your own illnesses and times of physical need. There are so many instances in my own life that match up to what you describe, it is uncanny.”

—Anna

“Many thanks Julie. Very helpful.”

—Francis

“Julie, I’ve been finding your writing on NPD insightful and very helpful in making sense of a recent bad experience. Thank you.”

—Andrew

“Totally correct, looove it!”

—Serenity

“Thank you Julia, I will print this outline of behavior for my family law attorney for her to better understand what we are up against in an attempt to settle in our court-ordered mediation next month.”

—Helen

“Great article. Very informative and helpful. Thank you.”

—Colleen

“Welcome to my family of origin! The article offers a lot of clarification! Thank you!”

—Susan

“Wow this makes total sense to me. Such a succinct answer; thank you.”

—Francesca

“Thanks for your blog. It gives me solace to know that other have experienced this horrible NPD abuse.”

—Rob

“Spot on Julie. I couldn’t agree with you more.”

—Ray

“Wow, unfortunately I learned this after the so-called relationship ended. Everything here is 100 percent true.”

—Amelia

“Great information.”

—Danielle

“Thanks for writing your blog, it has been interesting and helpful.”

—Landon

“Thank you so much for your insight! My husband has been struggling ALL HIS LIFE (!) with why his parents, um, yes, scapegoated him, and has solved some of the secrets they kept, but at 83, he still runs into roadblocks with his, um, as you say, personality development…I will not take up more of your time, I have given him one of your articles.”

—Jane

“I love your writing style. When’s your memoir coming out?”

—A. M.

“Thank you so much for sharing this story and for Jan giving permission for you to share it. I feel more for my golden child sister now. It could not have been easy for her.”

—Saoirse

“really feel it when i read your words”

—Rebellious Scapegoat

“Julie: Your article hits home for me, I have a 37-year-old daughter who is a genius but has all of these traits to a tee. Lots of heart aches and money have made me realize that she will never change. Sad but true.”

—Aja

“THANK YOU!!”

—Cat

“These are all wonderful points about narcissistic behaviors. Well done :)”

—Jessica

“This exactly describes my soon to be ex.”

—Sonia

“This looks very familiar unfortunately. Thank you for starting this movement towards having a voice and moving past the pain of having lived with a narcissistic person.”

—Alison

“Wow! Spot on.”

—Ingrid

“100% dead-on accurate, A+. I’m just curious, how do you know my soon to be ex-wife?”

—Rick

“Thank you for sharing your story with the world. It is helpful to the rest of us.”

—Susan

“Yep. That’s my family.”

—Amy

“Correct. Thank you for answering this question so correctly.”

—Wayne

“Your answer was really spot on. Thank you for such a complete synopsis. I’m going to print it out for reference. I wish I could have had information like this a few years ago. Thank you again.”

—C.

“Thank you very very much for all your writings.”

—Tiffany

“That is right on. The truth about them. So true.”

—Jeff

“Fascinating!”

—Vanessa

“Thanks for these, Julia. It’s such a balm to have a vocabulary to put to these experiences and thereby to get a little space to differentiate “me” from “them.”

—C. T.

“Awesome article.”

—Stacy

“Great article, familiar to say the least.”

—Marilyn

“These are all wonderful points about narcissistic behaviors. Well done :)”

—Jessica

“I relate so well. Thank you for naming our experiences.”

—Barbara

“That was soberingly accurate . . . both my parents/older brothers down to the detail.”

—Jean

“AMEN! You’re right on!”

—Abby

“Wish I’d known THIS three years ago.”

—J. Fatimah

“This is a real eye-opener for me. I have known families like this, but had no convenient label to describe them except ‘unhappy’ or ‘dysfunctional.’ Now I have a little better insight into what propelled their unhappiness—Narcissism. Thank you Julia.”

—Kent

“This is so spot on. It brought tears to my eyes with all the horrible memories.”

—Marie

“Great article.”

—Lesley

“This has succinctly described my in-laws. I have never seen such a concise explanation. Thank you.”

—Sophia

“100 percent true!!”

—Tammy

“Thank you for your insight Julie. The dynamics you have eloquently described match the family I ran away from. The father was a classic NP, the son was also NP. The roles are as you described. It takes a lot of work to recover from this dynamic and it took tremendous courage for me to throw my belongings into my car and just leave. I could not help him. I could not change him. I had to care for myself. I am still learning.”

—A. W.

“Absolutely spot on!”

—Misti

“Oh wow, the don’ts are perfect. Going to print this out. . . great article for when we are using family wizard.”

—Kate

“Excellent. Thank you.”

—Wallace

“I just have to say thank you for writing about narcissism in a way that is relatable. Having resources and knowing you’re not the only one who has gone through this helps more than you will ever know. Thank you!”

—Erica

“Nailed it!!!”

—Marcie

“Oh my goodness, this is so spot on and what I have been dealing with for years.”

—Renee

“This is excellent.”

—Kim

“Thank you for an amazing answer to an elusive question.”

—Caroline

“Great read!”

—Samantha

“Thank you for illuminating an underexamined part of human experience. The term ‘narcissist’ gets tossed around a lot, but most of us are uninformed about the damage caused to children of narcissist parents. This insight will help soften my gaze when dealing with traumatized people.”

—Colleen

“Best read yet on this!”

—Amber

“Yep, couldn’t agree more. Good advice on identifying shared traits of narcissism. I’ve read you on HuffPost before. Great articles.”

—Eduardo

“Every word of this is true.”

—Dora

“Very well written article! Being in this type of situation truly feels like a prison sentence. I finally left, but I will never be the same.😢”

—Stacy

“Yep, now I get it!!!!”

—Joey

“I love reading your blog!! I can relate so much on a personal level, as well as a parenting level!”

—Jen

“Yes I wholeheartedly agree!”

—Lindsey

“Another great article!”

—Sarah

“Dead on. I have a similar situation. I’m concerned with my kids. I would like to be proactive before they hit the teen years.”

—Lisa

“Outstanding.”

—Jeffrey

“Awesome article.”

—Patty

“Thank you. I enjoy reading your articles.”

—Fiona

“Isn’t this the truth!”

—Vanessa

“Great article and explanation. It’s also safe to say this is an employed business dynamic as well that works but shatters people.”

—Donna

“Great article and so true.”

—Melinda

“Excellent! Thank you!”

—P. O.

“I love where you talk about love as ‘actually consider, recognize, respect one’s child’s point of view and needs as separate from their own.’ You are saying what, in my mind, best defines the narcissist—so wrapped up in SELF that another is barely recognized, acknowledged, or respected for themselves.”

—George

“Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge. It really has helped.”

—Megan

“Couldn’t be more right on!”

—Rachel

“100 percent true!!”

—Leslie

“OMG!!!! You totally nailed it.”

—Mia

Featured image by Julie L. Hall, all rights reserved.