Thank you, readers, for your feedback. You span the globe far and wide. 

“I’ve been voraciously reading your articles on Huffpost. I am somewhat in utter disbelief that someone can so accurately describe my childhood growing up under a narcissist mother and enabling father. Looking forward to reading more. Just wanted to say thank you for helping make a stranger feel like I am not crazy finally!”


“I am the scapegoat of my family. For the first time in my 52 years, I feel like someone understands.”


“I found your website on narcissistic families yesterday and wanted to thank you for putting it out into the world: It is a true godsend! It is the best resource for survivors of narcissistic parenting and abuse I have found—well-written and highly informative. Thank you so much! Good luck with your books, I will be following your blog and be reading them when they come out!”

—Wendy Gillissen, clinical psychologist & author

“Thank God I finally found a wonderful therapist. And you. Now I’m reborn at age 38, and since that day about a month ago, I have searched the internet and spent countless hours reading blogs and watching videos. Yours is the only one that gets everything right, every time. . . . I feel like I know you. . . . I don’t want to miss a post.”


“Your lucid, powerful writing style is a joy. I’ve read all of your blog postings and HuffPost articles. I have often pointed friends to your articles. When your books are out I will buy them. Thanks again for your contributions. You’ve truly helped a lot of people.”


“LOVE your intelligence & style, love reading you, like so many other people do! You are brave, smart, beautifully well-educated, and kind—do keep going :)).”


“Love your website and all your wonderful words on narcissistic families. Every word resonates for me. .  . I would love to obtain a copy of your memoir but cannot find where to purchase it online. Could you advise? Keep up your great work.”


“I came across one of your blog articles on Facebook, and wow, does it resonate! I am really looking forward to your book.”


“Your articles are extremely helpful in understanding the role of the scapegoat as well as that of the golden child. I was sexually abused from early childhood until late teens by my parents, and within the violent child and teen pornography ring they were associated with. My brother was never part of this, and naturally played the role of the golden child. I later married a woman who is the obvious scapegoat in her family. We have broken ties with both abusive family systems years ago in order to achieve peace of mind, but your insightful articles clearly explain the two supposedly opposing roles and the parents who create them. Thank you!”


You write so well Julie. You make me feel infinitely less alone. I can only imagine how many others you reach, with the clarity of your thoughts and words.”


“You have it all right there inside of you, and you give it to us who never had a mother, every day. You are truly a gift and we would be lost without you.”


 “This entire blog mirrors exactly what my experience was.”


“Narcissist Family Files, thanks so much. I can’t tell you how much this helps in a way I didn’t even know I needed the help. Such good medicine. Just thank you, so much…”


“I love your site. . . . If I make it out of this alive, I’ll be sure to donate or web-support you any way I can. THIS IS CRITICAL INFORMATION THAT CAN SAVE LIVES.”


“You must hear this all the time, but I found your site last week and have been devouring it like a starving person. It’s like I finally found words to describe the dysfunctional relationship with my mother. . . . Thanks again for what you do, it’s really providing a valuable service to so many people.”


“Thank you Julia, from the absolute bottom of my heart.”


“You write with great clarity and fairness on the subject. And your description of your parents could have been written by me of my parents. Which obviously makes your writing of even more interest to me . . . because, ya know, narcissism. Do you find you have to constantly be vigilant of those traits in yourself as I do? Especially the covert behaviours. Anyway, I greatly enjoy your writing. Thank you.”


“I have to tell you, that description is so spot-on and eloquently written. Thank you.”


“Wow! You’re an awesome writer! It’s like you’re standing there with a checklist, telling my ex about herself and the reasons why I can’t stand the thought of her being in any interpersonal relationships. Good on you!”


“Julie, what you are doing is profoundly touching. You are being honest and brave, using this experience to evolve and transcend. I have so much faith in you as a mom and a truly decent human being. Sending a great big bouquet of deep respect and admiration. Now I have to pursue all the reading from your link. Have you published your book yet? If so, how can I purchase it?

—J. A.

“A fantastic article that is spot on.”


“I read your article on narcissism with great enthusiasm. So wonderfully relieving to hear someone tell it like it is with regard to having had a narcissistic parent.”
“Thank you so much. This article is incredibly helpful. I’ve been divorced 12 years but it has taken a long time for me to understand what exactly I was dealing with.”


“I wanted to thank you for being so brave as to make book of such a difficult situation that can only be well understood by those who had suffered it. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK AND EXAMPLE!”


“I’m looking forward to your books!”

—Elinor Greenberg, psychologist & author specializing in personality disorders

“Inspired! Exceptional, brilliantly written, succinct portrait of an NPD! I’m in awe.”


“Just came across your blog/HuffPost articles. They are helpful and brilliant—because they allow people to see that countless others around the world have experienced (or are still experiencing) the exact same narcissistic parental-family abuse and dysfunction. Knowing that such dysfunctional narcissistic family systems exist regardless of culture, ethnicity, gender, race, or nationality supports more people to put the light of consciousness on it and thereby expose it.”


“Thank you for these articles. They read like my life.”


“I have read excerpts from your memoir and would be glad to buy a copy. I am fascinated both professionally and personally and hope to have the chance to read your work in its entirety.”
—Katie, MSW, RSW


“Excellent information. Trying to catch up on your small library of related articles and works.”
“After reading your articles the ugly truth finally becomes clear: It is not our fault! We are not wrong kids! We are worthy of living our lives! Thank you SO SO MUCH.”

“Wow! As a scapegoat to a severely wounded narcissist mother who failed to protect me from a sexually abusive father, I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH for taking the time and effort to write your articles!!! The level of understanding and VALIDATION (finally!) that your writings have offered has helped me accept that my perceptions were not a sign of delusional thinking, nor that I am mentally ill. I can see now that my adaptations of isolating myself from my family were an understandable and healthy reaction to a very unhealthy situation. THANK YOU!!!”

“My counselor told me about your site a while ago. I have found it very helpful. Thank you.”

“EXCELLENT Article!!!!!”


“I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your writings. I grew up with a destructive mother who I struggle interacting with to this day. Now that she’s nearing the end it’s especially difficult. So thank you. It helps me understand that what we experienced did happen, isn’t normal, and was/is truly awful.”


“I’ve been reading your work. There is a lot of junk on the web in the area of narcissistic parents, and I so appreciate the quality of your ideas and writing.”

—Stephanie, clinical psychologist

“WOW this article hits the nail on the head.”


“Perfectly accurate!”


“Hi Julie. You have done an absolutely amazing job with your work and it’s been very helpful and informative. Thank you for all that you do.”


“What you wrote about the NPD family could have been written specifically about our family, but you could insert names. I was the scapegoat, and the description of the qualities and the problems are exactly what you wrote. I’ve been to a couple of therapists over the years and I wonder why none of them explained what you said in one article. Thank you a thousand times.”


“Doesn’t get any better than this—GREAT answer.”


“Yes. Yes. Yes. Great article.”


“Julie, that was a fantastic article, and yes, it did resonate with me. I wish I would have had this information when I was a teen.”


“This is all so helpful I could cry. Love your articles. Thank you.


“You are such an excellent writer, Julie!”


“Thank you, Julie. Your words means a lot to so many of us.”


“Julie, thank you so, so much for this. I hold hope that as more people speak out on this difficult and complex topic, others will gain insight about their experiences and seek much-needed support. Scapegoats are targeted not for their weakness but rather their strength, as they are the ones who see clearly what is really behind the curtain and are willing to speak the unvarnished truth. Thank you for your bravery.”

—Regina Collins, NCC

“Just wanted to say a quick thank you for the way in which you detail your experiences, and understandings of all things narcissistic. Not to go into a rant, [but] while I’ve read through countless psychological journals, support forums and articles by the likes of Sam Vaknin, all of the research always had a “hard” edge to it. I found your articles . . . easier to relate to, and don’t really have that clinical, detached approach that hard psych journals and support forums typically adopt. So, my thanks again, and keep up the good work!”


“You really hit the nail on the head with this post, Julia, for I feel that I could have written it in almost the exact same words!”

—Another Scapegoated Daughter

“This is important reading for all Americans… especially holding the narcissist accountable for their behavior—not treating it as normal/acceptable.”


“Thank you so much for articulating what I have been experiencing. Your articles have helped me as I work toward healing and creating boundaries to protect myself and my sweet family.

—Karna, MFT

“This is Great information that you are sharing! Thank you! ❤”


“Perfect. Yes. Exactly.”


“I just read several of your articles and found them extremely helpful!!”


“Enjoyed this article as it really hit the nail on the head. ‘Ordinary’ therapists don’t get it & I have felt more humiliated by them. I’m an adult child, 2 yr’s NC struggle with holding down a job, can’t maintain a relationship (or feel love) & feel completely stuck but cannot find any specific support for this syndrome here in UK. Grateful for any info contacts in uk, many thanks.”


“u r a very excellent writer Julia.”


“Excellent article! Insightful and informative.”

—Mary Jane

“You said that so well, ‘the scapegoat’s redemption is breaking free’—so true. Wishing you blessings as well.”


“Loved this article!!!!!”


“Looking forward to your book!


“Hi Julie. Great stuff! Your writing is clear, concise, and excellent. Keep up the good work and I am glad I found you.”
“Thank you so much for your website. I can’t overstate how helpful it has been. I was aware that the narcissistic label fit my situation but the specificity and detail you discuss leave no room for me to deny that that’s what I’ve been dealing with. Thank you for the clarity.”

“What a great and factual read!”


“Very great read. Important information I needed to hear.”


“Julia! I just read your most recent article on Huffington Post and my mind has been blown beyond belief. My husband is an adult child of a narcissist. His real story is one people would have a hard time understanding in a non-fiction novel. He cut all ties of communication with his father 3 years ago and since then has struggled with PTSD: anxiety, depression, insomnia and night terrors. My husband is a beautiful human being inside and out. Wise, intelligent, successful. He has almost lost all that he loves because of the heaviness from his past. We have struggled to find the right therapist. Most people tell him to “suck it up”. It’s so much more than that. I’m reaching out to you today because you are the first person who has ever put exactly what’s going on into words that make sense and are relatable. . . . Thank you.”


“This article will be my daily mantra moving forward!”


“Julie, you are brilliant and I so enjoy the narcissist posts.”


“True True True.”


“I just read your post about the care you’ve been providing for your mother. I’m struck to see how you were treated during your own illnesses and times of physical need. There are so many instances in my own life that match up to what you describe, it is uncanny.”


“Julie, I’ve been finding your writing on NPD insightful and very helpful in making sense of a recent bad experience. Thank you.”


“Totally correct looove it!”


“Great article. Very informative and helpful. Thank you.”

—Colleen W.

“Welcome to my family of origin! The article offers a lot of clarification! Thank you!”


“Wow this makes total sense to me. Such a succinct answer; thank you.”


“Spot on Julie. I couldn’t agree with you more.”


“Great information.”


“Thanks for writing your blog, it has been interesting and helpful.”


“Thank you so much for your insight! My husband has been struggling ALL HIS LIFE (!) with why his parents, um, yes, scapegoated him, and has solved some of the secrets they kept, but at 83, he still runs into roadblocks with his, um, as you say, personality development…I will not take up more of your time, I have given him one of your articles.”


“I love your writing style. When’s your memoir coming out?”


“Thank you so much for sharing this story and for Jan giving permission for you to share it. I feel more for my golden child sister now. It could not have been easy for her.”


“really feel it when i read your words”

—Rebellious Scapegoat

“Julie: Your article hits home for me, I have a 37-year-old daughter who is a genius but has all of these traits to a tee. Lots of heart aches and money have made me realize that she will never change. Sad but true.”




“These are all wonderful points about narcissistic behaviors. Well done :)”


“This exactly describes my soon to be ex.”


“This looks very familiar unfortunately. Thank you for starting this movement towards having a voice and moving past the pain of having lived with a narcissistic person.”


“Wow! Spot on.”


“100% dead-on accurate, A+. I’m just curious, how do you know my soon to be ex-wife?”


“Yep. That’s my family.”


“Correct. Thank you for answering this question so correctly.”


“Your answer was really spot on. Thank you for such a complete synopsis. I’m going to print it out for reference. I wish I could have had information like this a few years ago. Thank you again.”


“That is right on. The truth about them. So true.”


“You are such an excellent writer, Julie!”




“Thanks for these, Julia. It’s such a balm to have a vocabulary to put to these experiences and thereby to get a little space to differentiate “me” from “them.”


“Awesome article.”

“Great article, familiar to say the least.”


“Thank you Julie for writing this article on such an important topic. Your experience will resonate for those readers who have suffered from the effects of a NPD. For some it may be the first introduction to the naming of what happened in childhood which can lead to the seeking of more information, help, the discovery of the authentic Self and recovery/healing. I look forward to reading more of your articles on this topic.”

—Julie Teneberg, MFT

“These are all wonderful points about narcissistic behaviors. Well done :)”


“I relate so well. Thank you for naming our experiences.”


“That was soberingly accurate . . . both my parents/older brothers down to the detail.”


“Wish I’d known THIS 3 years ago.”

—J. Fatimah

“This is a real eye-opener for me. I have known families like this, but had no convenient label to describe them except ‘unhappy’ or ‘dysfunctional.’ Now I have a little better insight into what propelled their unhappiness—Narcissism. Thank you Julia.”


“This is so spot on. It brought tears to my eyes with all the horrible memories.”


“Great article.”


“100 percent true!!”


“Thank you for your insight Julie. The dynamics you have eloquently described match the family I ran away from. The father was a classic NP, the son was also NP. The roles are as you described. It takes a lot of work to recover from this dynamic and it took tremendous courage for me to throw my belongings into my car and just leave. I could not help him. I could not change him. I had to care for myself. I am still learning.”


“Absolutely spot on!”


“Oh wow, the don’ts are perfect. Going to print this out. . . great article for when we are using family wizard.”


“Nailed it!!!”


“Oh my goodness, this is so spot on and what I have been dealing with for years.”


“This is excellent.”


“Great read!”


“Thank you for illuminating an underexamined part of human experience. The term ‘narcissist’ gets tossed around a lot, but most of us are uninformed about the damage caused to children of narcissist parents. This insight will help soften my gaze when dealing with traumatized people.”

—Colleen B.

“Best read yet on this!”


“Every word of this is true.”


“Very well written article! Being in this type of situation truly feels like a prison sentence. I finally left, but I will never be the same.😢”


“Yep, now I get it!!!!”


“Yes I wholeheartedly agree!”



“Dead on. I have a similar situation. Sorry you had to endure that. How did it affect you? I’m concerned with my kids. I would like to be proactive before they hit the teen years.”


“Awesome article.”


“There are some really good articles here dealing with narc coparenting!”

—Thrive After Abuse

“Isn’t this the truth!”


“Great article and explanation. It’s also safe to say this is an employed business dynamic as well that works but shatters people.”


“Great article and so true.”


“Excellent! Thank you!”

—P. O.

“I think it is a good answer, and I love where you talk about love as ‘actually consider, recognize, respect one’s child’s point of view and needs as separate from their own.’ You are saying what, in my mind, best defines the narcissist—so wrapped up in SELF that another is barely recognized, acknowledged, or respected for themselves.”


“Couldn’t be more right on!”


“100 percent true!!”


Featured image by Julia L. Hall, all rights reserved.