There is nearly always someone enabling the narcissist. Being fundamentally dependent on others for the self-assurance and definition they lack, narcissists don’t get very far without enablers. An enabler supports the narcissist’s insistence on control, inflated persona, exaggerated entitlement, and…
As many of us from narcissistic cult families are painfully aware, the golden child sits at the top of the hierarchy, granted entitlements denied to others, especially the scapegoat. In the harsh social Darwinist logic of the narcissistic home, the…
Ah, praise. It can lift us up and send us flying to lofty heights. It can validate, it can motivate, it can inspire. And, as is true of anything with the power to make us feel so good, praise has a…
In order to ban autocracy, exploitation, and inequality in the world, we must first realize that the first inequality in life is that of child and adult. —Erik Erikson For humans, a highly social species dependent on the group for survival,…
Why is it so unusual for narcissists to grow emotionally? Narcissistic behavior begins as self-protection from the shame and low self-esteem that result from insecure attachment with parents. Children developing a narcissistic personality adopt defensive behavior patterns to shield themselves from negative feedback, both…
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissists face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and their narcissistic grandparents. Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and…
Humans are a highly social, collaborative species with intricately complex interdependency. We raise children together, work together, learn together, eat together, play together, and the list goes on. And the glue that bonds us is our common capacity and desire…
A refusal to acknowledge a threatening, uncomfortable, or inconvenient truth, denial is a developmentally normal, unconscious defense mechanism of early childhood. Children may deny a “bad” feeling like jealousy to preserve their self-esteem, or they may deny a destabilizing feeling like fear…
First published on Psychology Today on 2/21/21 Does your partner, parent, sibling, or other family member say you are too sensitive if you point out that they have hurt you or that someone else has hurt you? Here are some other phrases they may use…
Overthink social dynamics? Hate being evaluated or put on the spot? Here’s why.