A refusal to acknowledge a threatening, uncomfortable, or inconvenient truth, denial is a developmentally normal, unconscious defense mechanism of early childhood. Children may deny a “bad” feeling like jealousy to preserve their self-esteem, or they may deny a destabilizing feeling like fear…
Children of narcissistically disordered parents experience profound violations of trust and ongoing assaults to their sense of reality, identity, and self-esteem. For this population, one of the most difficult aspects of recovery is overcoming denial about what they have experienced…
As many of us from narcissistic cult families are painfully aware, the golden child sits at the top of the hierarchy, granted entitlements denied to others, especially the scapegoat. In the harsh social Darwinist logic of the narcissistic home, the…
Through the projective identification process, the parents both interpret and induce behavior in the child to identify with their projections.
Forgiveness is often touted as the holy grail of healing. Indeed, releasing anger and resentment toward someone who has hurt us can be freeing. But when it comes to forgiving narcissistic parents, the impulse to forgive too soon is treacherous…
The scapegoat child is made to carry the narcissistic parents’ negative projections (feelings, thoughts, and behavior in themselves they wish to disown), while also frequently being burdened with adult responsibilities in the family.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissists face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and their narcissistic grandparents. Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and…
The healthy family model is turned on its head to support the parents rather than foster the children’s development.
First published on Psychology Today November 10, 2019 As a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, I offer several fundamental insights to clients that anyone working to recover from long-term narcissistic abuse needs to know. 1. A larger pattern is at work. If you have a history…
Growing up in a narcissistic family, Ava’s first memory, at three years old, was being beaten across the face with a belt. Her father, a sadistic malignant narcissist, regularly beat her and her two brothers throughout their childhoods. On that…