As many of us from narcissistic cult families are painfully aware, the golden child sits at the top of the hierarchy, granted entitlements denied to others, especially the scapegoat. In the harsh social Darwinist logic of the narcissistic home, the…
The Narcissist Family Files
First published on Psychology Today, March 25, 2023. To understand the trauma narcissists induce in others, we often focus on their external behaviors and how those behaviors affect the people around them. But what is really going on in the narcissistic…
Exaggerated victimhood is a form of narcissistic grandiosity.
Through the projective identification process, the parents both interpret and induce behavior in the child to identify with their projections.
Children of narcissistically disordered parents experience profound violations of trust and ongoing assaults to their sense of reality, identity, and self-esteem. For this population, one of the most difficult aspects of recovery is overcoming denial about what they have experienced…
Ah, praise. It can lift us up and send us flying to lofty heights. It can validate, it can motivate, it can inspire. And, as is true of anything with the power to make us feel so good, praise has a…
People with narcissistic personalities are relational antagonists who compulsively undercut others to gain a sense of control and superiority. Even when they are shining an idealizing light on someone, it is a form of manipulation—through flattery and praise—, which can (and…
In order to ban autocracy, exploitation, and inequality in the world, we must first realize that the first inequality in life is that of child and adult. —Erik Erikson For humans, a highly social species dependent on the group for survival,…
Dysfunctional, narcissistic families typically feature inequities, and one of the most common forms of inequity is parental favoritism of one child over another. In a survivalist, hierarchical narcissistic family system, there are many reasons parents select a particular child to elevate and another to…
Forgiveness is often touted as the holy grail of healing. Indeed, releasing anger and resentment toward someone who has hurt us can be freeing. But when it comes to forgiving narcissistic parents, the impulse to forgive too soon is treacherous…