First published on Psychology Today, March 25, 2023. To understand the trauma narcissists induce in others, we often focus on their external behaviors and how those behaviors affect the people around them. But what is really going on in the narcissistic…
Exaggerated victimhood is a form of narcissistic grandiosity.
Through the projective identification process, the parents both interpret and induce behavior in the child to identify with their projections.
People with narcissistic personalities are relational antagonists who compulsively undercut others to gain a sense of control and superiority. Even when they are shining an idealizing light on someone, it is a form of manipulation—through flattery and praise—, which can (and…
In order to ban autocracy, exploitation, and inequality in the world, we must first realize that the first inequality in life is that of child and adult. —Erik Erikson For humans, a highly social species dependent on the group for survival,…
Dysfunctional, narcissistic families typically feature inequities, and one of the most common forms of inequity is parental favoritism of one child over another. In a survivalist, hierarchical narcissistic family system, there are many reasons parents select a particular child to elevate and another to…
Forgiveness is often touted as the holy grail of healing. Indeed, releasing anger and resentment toward someone who has hurt us can be freeing. But when it comes to forgiving narcissistic parents, the impulse to forgive too soon is treacherous…
Despite the fact that an increasing number of young people identify as LGBTQ (1 in 6 of Generation Z), queer-identified individuals are subject to lifelong invisibility and bigotry, often even within their own families. As societal scapegoats, they have far fewer positive role models…
The scapegoat child is made to carry the narcissistic parents’ negative projections (feelings, thoughts, and behavior in themselves they wish to disown), while also frequently being burdened with adult responsibilities in the family.
Although narcissists are a popular topic these days, lies about narcissism persist in our “common wisdom” about relationships, families, and social institutions. The lies we tell ourselves and our children may seem reassuring or convenient, but they enable abusers and…