Welcome

The Narcissist Family Files Blog is an award-winning international resource for survivors of narcissistic abuse and trauma, founded by journalist and author of The Narcissist in Your Life Julie L. Hall. Here you will find insight and a vocabulary for your experiences, as well as strategies for coping and healing.

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Narcissism Is an Abusive Disorder

Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are extreme and disabling conditions most likely the result of insecure attachment in infancy and childhood. The narcissistic personality fails to develop stable self-esteem or empathy for others, and s/he mounts a defense against underlying feelings of shame and inadequacy with self-aggrandizing compensations.

The narcissistic personality is by definition abusive. Life with a narcissist is chaotic, combative, debilitating, and oftentimes dangerous. Partners and children are targeted with manipulation, distortions, lies, rage, blame, projecting, belittling, gaslighting, and many other destructive tactics meant to scaffold the narcissist’s grandiose yet hopelessly fragile self. If you have narcissistic family members, you have experienced trauma, and you may be suffering with symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

Getting Help

As someone looking for help, you still may be in the thick of it with the narcissist in your life or perhaps you are trying to make sense of the past. Either way, the fact that you are looking for answers to the madness is good news. Acknowledging that there is a problem and working to understand it are the first steps toward healing. Through understanding, we learn that

• we are not alone;
• we are not to blame for how we have been hurt (contrary to what we have been told); and
• we can release the emotional and physiological pain and damage we have carried, many of us since birth.

For those of you looking to connect and receive more support, Julie offers phone coaching. Because most therapists are not trained in treating narcissistic abuse trauma, specialized coaching has become a lifeline for recovery. Talking with people who understand narcissism and the trauma surrounding it is essential to healing. Julie is a recognized expert on recovery from narcissistic abuse who works with clients around the world.

About This Website

This website contains upwards of 75 articles about NPD and narcissistic abuse trauma and recovery. Many of them first appeared in Psychology Today, HuffPost, and elsewhere. You can use the search function on the Home page to look for topics, or you can scroll down the Home page to find every article on this site.

Testimonials

Julie hears from readers every day. Here are samples of what people are saying about her writing (read more):

“Thank God I finally found a wonderful therapist and you. Now I’m reborn at age 38, and since that day about a month ago, I have searched the internet and spent countless hours reading blogs and watching videos. Yours is the only one that gets everything right, every time. I feel like I know you. I don’t want to miss a post.” —Laura

“I found your website on narcissistic families yesterday and wanted to thank you for putting it out into the world: It is a true godsend! It is the best resource for survivors of narcissistic parenting and abuse I have found—well-written and highly informative. Thank you so much! Good luck with your books, I will be following your blog and be reading them when they come out!” —Wendy Gillissen, clinical psychologist & author

“I’ve been voraciously reading your articles on HuffPost. I am somewhat in utter disbelief that someone can so accurately describe my childhood growing up under a narcissist mother and enabling father. Looking forward to reading more. Just wanted to say thank you for helping make a stranger feel like I am not crazy finally!” —Dan

About Julie L. Hall

Julie is the author of The Narcissist in Your Life, coming December 3, 2019, from Hachette Books. Preorder your copy now. Julie writes about narcissism for outlets such as Psychology Today, HuffPost, Psych Central, and Your Tango, and she has been interviewed as an expert about narcissism by HuffPost and Vogue/Goop. Julie is a career writer/author on a wide range of subjects. She began writing about narcissism and founded this website to understand her experience growing up in a narcissistic family and to work her way out of corrosive narcissistic relationships and trauma as an adult.

Julie welcomes your feedback. You may post your thoughts in the comments section under individual posts. Or you may email her at contact@julielhall.com.

To receive new articles and information about Julie’s book, subscribe for email notifications on the Home page, or send her an email with “subscribe” in the subject line.

Giving Back

Here are ways you can give back and help this important, free resource thrive:

1. Give Julie’s book to family and friends.
2. Share what you see here.
3. Like The Narcissist Family Files on Facebook.
4. Make a donation.
5. Buy Julie coffee!

Start Reading

Here are some articles to get started with:

Helpful? Buy me a coffee.