Why is it so unusual for narcissists to grow emotionally? Narcissistic behavior begins as self-protection from the shame and low self-esteem that result from insecure attachment with parents. Children developing a narcissistic personality adopt defensive behavior patterns to shield themselves from negative feedback, both…
The scapegoat child is made to carry the narcissistic parents’ negative projections (feelings, thoughts, and behavior in themselves they wish to disown), while also frequently being burdened with adult responsibilities in the family.
Although narcissists are a popular topic these days, lies about narcissism persist in our “common wisdom” about relationships, families, and social institutions. The lies we tell ourselves and our children may seem reassuring or convenient, but they enable abusers and…
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissists face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and their narcissistic grandparents. Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and…
Humans are a highly social, collaborative species with intricately complex interdependency. We raise children together, work together, learn together, eat together, play together, and the list goes on. And the glue that bonds us is our common capacity and desire…
A refusal to acknowledge a threatening, uncomfortable, or inconvenient truth, denial is a developmentally normal, unconscious defense mechanism of early childhood. Children may deny a “bad” feeling like jealousy to preserve their self-esteem, or they may deny a destabilizing feeling like fear…
First published on Psychology Today on 2/21/21 Does your partner, parent, sibling, or other family member say you are too sensitive if you point out that they have hurt you or that someone else has hurt you? Here are some other phrases they may use…
The following letter was written by Alicia to her family therapist, Craig. Alicia and her husband David and their three children sought help from Craig for 14 years and spent an estimated $40,000 for his services over that time. David…
Overthink social dynamics? Hate being evaluated or put on the spot? Here’s why.
Here are tried and true boundary-setting strategies to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse.