Published on The Huffington Post 01/02/2017 Over 70,000 mental health professionals have publicly diagnosed Donald Trump’s narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). But you don’t need a degree to recognize it in his
- fathomless need for attention,
- vicious lack of empathy,
- criminally entitled disregard for laws,
- obsession with shallow markers of status,
- compulsion to scapegoat anyone he views as “other,”
- cynical contempt for basic decency,
- hypersensitivity to criticism,
- emotional reactivity and rage,
- cognitive distortions,
- extremist rhetoric,
- flagrant disregard for democracy,
- ceaseless drive to bolster himself by bullying others,
- idealization of other fascistic world leaders,
- betrayal of friends and allies,
- and the list goes on.
America Went Freeze, Flight, or Fight
When the outcome of the U.S. election began to rear its grotesque head, when Americans and the rest of the world watching that night began to register that the electoral college count was racking up in Trump’s favor, many of us reacted like trauma victims in a state of freeze, flight, or fight.
Freeze For most of the shocked among us, our first response was to freeze. We knew we were under siege, but what it meant and what we should or could do about it was unclear.
Flight Some had a flight response, overloading Canada’s immigration website to the point that it crashed.
Fight But in the days and weeks to follow, greater and greater numbers of shocked citizens began to fight. Some confronted attacks by emboldened bigots—misogynists, racists, xenophobes, and homophobes—brutalizing and harassing people on the streets, scrawling hate speech on churches and mosques, and using the media as pulpits for hateful “causes.” Other citizens spoke out against the messages of intolerance, isolationism, and flagrant capitalist opportunism that Trump had espoused throughout his campaign and embodied his whole life. Still others rallied to strategize ways of protecting our imperiled democracy.
Narcissistic Abuse
Those of us who have been directly traumatized by narcissistic abuse and manipulation, say by a parent or partner, are intimately familiar with its insidious and devastating effects. It is a damage that roots and spreads in the body and soul in the form of
- self-doubt,
- distrust,
- depression,
- hypervigilance,
- complex posttraumatic stress,
- substance abuse,
- and illness.
We know that none of the typical trauma responses are likely to protect us from the severe narcissist. Within families the narcissist divides and conquers, favoring some and scapegoating others. He uses lies, denial, shame, blame, gaslighting, and plain old terror to control those around him and hold them within his reach. His lack of empathy for those who love him frees him from normal rules of engagement and makes it unlikely that his family will recognize his behavior for what it is or unite to shut down his tyranny. Instead, those within the domestic narcissist’s orbit either continue to suffer his abuse or, if possible, revert to limited or “no contact.”
The Narcissist’s Nihilism
Unfortunately, no contact with the president of the United States, in this day and age more than ever, is near to impossible. You can turn off your screens, ignore the news, even go native off the grid, but his decisions about trade, economics, taxes, natural resources, education, climate change, and the environment will inevitably affect you and your children. Distancing yourself as from the family narcissist won’t play on the world stage. Trump and his agents are too powerful and dangerous to ignore. They must be called out, held accountable, and that means understanding Trump.
The pathological narcissist, though he may seduce and fool those who serve his agenda, has no loyalty and no code of honor. He is no one’s leader, no one’s champion. He is a parasite moving from host to host to feed his endless need. His face is a mask, and his life a projection. His denial of any objective truth, particularly moral truths, makes him the ultimate nihilist, with no ideology and no belief system. Trump has exploited a divided nation, and his motives will only ever be to further divide.
A Chance at Unity
For the human family, President Narcissist’s rise is cause for rage and despair. But it is also a chance at learning an essential lesson, one that each generation it seems must tackle anew. His is our ugliest face, mirroring what we need to resist in ourselves, our families, and our institutions.
Our kids and the planet they walk upon depend on our commitment to name and refute Trump’s “postfact” nihilism and bankrupt narcissism.
Now is the time to join together in great force, to speak the bold truth in a resounding chorus, and to fight for our very lives.
Julie L. Hall is the author of The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free, coming December 3, 2019, from Hachette Books. Preorder your copy now.
Need support? Julie provides specialized narcissistic abuse recovery coaching to clients around the world.
Related Articles by Julie L. Hall
- Your Relationship with a Narcissist Is Hell in a Hamster Wheel
- Identifying the Covert Narcissist in Your Life: A Checklist
- Maddening and Bizarre Things About Narcissists Explained
- The Hidden Trauma of Neglect in the Narcissistic Family
- Your Brain Under the Influence of Narcissistic Parents
- The Narcissism Disease Cluster in Families and How to End the Cycle
- Why Narcissists Will Never Love You and It’s Dangerous to Love Them
- How Narcissists Torture Others and They Believe They’re Right to Do It
- The Narcissist’s Disrespect, Envy, and Contempt
- Why and How Narcissists Play the Shame Game
- How and Why Narcissists Are Highly Skilled Abusers
- The Narcissist Parent’s Psychological Warfare: Parentifying, Idealizing, and Scapegoating
- 7 Defining Traits of the Narcissist
- Raised by a Narcissist? 11 Healing Things to Do for Yourself Right Now
- The Paradox of the Narcissist’s Unrequited Self-Love
- It’s You and Me Baby: Narcissist Head Games
- 7 Things a Narcissist Will Never Do
- The Narcissist as Human Parasite: Are You a Host?
- 4 Insidious Ways That Narcissistic Abuse Isolates the Victim
- Behind the Narcissist Mask: The Bully, Coward, Liar and Fraud
- How to Protect Your Child from Your Narcissist Spouse
- The Challenge of Setting Boundaries with Narcissist Parents
- Understanding Narcissistic Rage and Why It Is Not Your Fault
- The Strength of the Scapegoat in the Narcissist Family
- Adult Children of Narcissists Face Trauma-Induced Health Risks
- Seven Sure Ways to Spot a Narcissist
- The Dos and Don’ts of CoParenting with a Narcissist
Featured image courtesy of IPHONEDIGITAL, CC; other image courtesy of Will McCulloch, CC.
View Comments (20)
Actually, a lot of it looks like Trump is being scapegoated by people twisting everything he says and does into something negative. I lived it for 40+ years in my family. The true narcissists are the ones projecting these onto him. Projecting and twisting of truth in order to influence.
50% of the people in the US don't believe he's as described in this article.
I'll guess that none of you have read articles by people who actually know him at work and home. That plus the media's treatment of him, tell me what I believe is the truth.
It takes a scapegoat to know a scapegoat. The "machine" behind his opposition is huge, if it hasn't already been obvious.
Hi Ethan Allen. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
Actually, Ethan, you've just indicated your own Narcissism by refusing to recognize the malignancy of Trump's character and defending him. I'm willing to bet that you like the guy because he's just like you, right? Red Flag. I want your family to know that they CAN leave.
He who enables a narcissisist's abuse uses the same method of attack upon the victims of the abuser...projecting the lie upon the innocent to create a false persona for the narcissist. I would say thousands of Americans have become Trump's flying monkeys that enable him to continue his assault upon the Constitutional freedoms more sane and well-meaning people created. Agreeing with a lie does not make it the truth.
Bravo! Thanks for calling her out...
I absolutely agree with you 100%
In reading Julia's article, I could not help thinking about how her words very much describe President Obama as a narcissist, and how so many of us on the right went through the same "freeze, flight, and fight" responses when he was reelected for a second term. We saw him as the ultimate narcissist who promised to unite us all but who then methodically proceeded to villify and belittle the right which is about half of America. We all have our views for what is best for America. And, like Ethan and half the voting public, I see the policies of Donald Trump as what is best for America vs any alternatives presented to us during the election process. That doesn't mean I personally care for some of Donald Trump's tweets and statements, but I see those as simply ugly ways he fights back against the ugly political attacks he constantly receives. They are not his policies, though, and we like his policies. I also see those on the the "active" far left as far more racist because they regularly try to convince us that non-racist remarks and actions are in fact racist. That is projection of the most insidious type. Also, the active left if very much nazi-like in their attempts to shut down free speech. They openly use violence against right-wing speakers including Trump, and then they say Trump and his supporters are causing violence. As Ethan said, I see the left doing lots of projecting. Possibly a better way for Julia to have described the reactions of the left to Donald Trump's election are the steps of the grievance process. First their is denial and disappointment and then anger, but hopefully, after facing the truth for long enough, they will look inwardly at their misunderstanding and mis-characterization of the fact that millions of Americans who voted for Donald Trump did it because of what he promised, and a belief he was our best chance at doing what he promised. So far he has tried and is working to fulfill those promises while the left stubbornly uses illegal nasty tactics to try to stop what the rest of us want.
The truth is that many politiciians are probably narcissists. In today's environment, who else would want the job? Obama and Trump are both obvious narcissists, as are both Clintons. Throw stones wherever you like.
I have noticed that any negative comments about Trump tend to attract other very negative people.
I’m glad that I am not the only person who has recognized that he has NPD. I am extremely worried when I see the media or individuals laughing at Trump as if he is a joke. Anyone who has previously dealt with someone with NPD would know that we should be very, very worried about this man being in such a position of absolute power.
I do not believe that the President has NPD. I am a narcissistic abuse survivor. If you listen to Trump vs listen to what people say he said, you get a different perspective. Trump actually scores high in empathy. He shows compassion to people who view the world like me - conservative. I did not have a voice until now. I view my self as a child of the Reagan years. It is time to get America working again and off food stamps. If that statement lacks empathy then I just can't help you. It is time for a hand up not just a hand out. I defeated the narcissist in my life and my narc radar is pretty darn good. But then again, can't prove it. I too believe that Trump is under tremendous attacks. Boundaries. His tweets are all about boundaries. Fight or flight. It seems this guy prefers fight. It's common for a narcissist to not understand boundaries. Enough is enough.
As narcissist survivor, you are a narcissist yourself. Taking food stamps from the poor and healthcare from the sick. Trumps constant need for people to suck up to him. Trump can't take criticism on any level, yet you blame Obama, I didn't see Obama asking for people to be fire because they didn't agree with the president. Trump has not once taken responsibility for his actions and contonally blames others. He treats his daughter like a pampered little princess who could do no wrong. Trump breaks the law with money laundering and feels narcissist slight because he wasn't invited to the royal wedding. If you support this president still after all the lies and broken promises and you feel it is ok to pollute the environment and don't want to pay your taxes because you feel you are entitled to live here for free, then you suffer from NPD yourself. I pity you.
Save your pity for yourself, your reply is a textbook example of projection.
Trump is gifted in reading the weaknesses, fears, and hatred in others whom he can exploit. I have encountered so many Trump loyalists that believe he is deeply compassionate and caring, even as he coldly and methodically cuts others apart who stand in his way. Perhaps he covers his lack of empathy with "good deeds", it still remains that he is unfazed when destroying the lives of the victims he has encountered throughout his adult life. He was trained by his narcissist father to be a "killer", and as a good golden child will, he has become what his father demanded him to be. Killers can appear to care, just as Hitler himself killed millions of Jews, yet was idolized as a god by a nation caught up in his spell.
'The new Pope is a humble man, very much like me, which probably explains why I like him so much!' tweets pre-President Trump in 12/2013. His words, pre-politics, no media twist. As someone who is only just understanding what my family was all about and why I feel like I lived in an alien universe until recently, the man screams an enormous echo that I can't not hear. Blatant lies, absolute entitlement (including to womens' bodies) and extreme grandiosity. i'm concurring with the experts. He is dangerous. He is not your friend. He represents himself and nobody else. Well, nobody aside from those who enable him. Will he give a little? Yes, if it ultimately helps to serve himself. Is he in his ideal playground? Absolutely - the essence of politics means that there's little chance of a united understanding of him and stance against him. There will always be other self-serving ambitious types who will align with him, in the vain hope that he'll help them towards power.
None of it is a pretty sight.
Hooray! Love this post. Add me to your email list on political fighting as well!
This is a shame. I had followed the author for some time. I won't anymore.
Shameful nonsense from a blog I used to respect. Talk about narcissism--the blogger basically projects all this anger, hatred, gossip, lies, and divisiveness onto the tens of millions of men and women who voted for Mr. Trump. And why? Being furious to observe a man whose family, employees, and voters love him warmly. Talk about gaslighting!
Sorry to hear you are suffering from Trump derangement syndrome.