The last few decades have delivered some knock-out performances of narcissist mothers in both film and television. Absurdly funny, selfish, grandiose, scheming, cruel, violent, or a bedeviling mix of all of the above, you’ve got to hand it to the brilliant actors who bring their villains to larger-than-life highs and lows on screen. Whether drawing from personal experience or the warped world of Hollywood, they have narcissist mothers down cold. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order.
Narcissist Mothers on Screen
In The Devil Wears Prada, it’s almost too fun to watch Meryl Streep play a haughtily grandiose shark of a fashion magazine editor who loves to exploit and torment her personal assistants.
Mad Men suburban mom Betty Draper, played by January Jones, is one cold cucumber who specializes in ignoring her kids. Here she takes aim at the neighbor’s pigeons.
Arrested Development‘s matriarch Lucille Bluth, played by TV veteran Jessica Walter, is hilarious as a hard-drinking manipulator extraordinaire who infantilizes her youngest son, shames her oldest son, and scapegoats her daughter.
Arrested Development is full of comically narcissistic characters, and like mother like daughter, Lucille Bluth’s scapegoated daughter Lindsay Bluth Fünke, played by Portia de Rossi, is so self-involved she barely remembers she has her own daughter.
Nancy Marchand, The Sopranos malevolent matriarch Livia Soprano, is impeccable in her portrayal of the passive-aggressive murderous mother of Tony. As a woman in a man’s world, she is denied her fitting role as mob boss and resorts to diabolical hijinks from the sidelines. Marchand’s untimely death nearly derailed the series, which was originally written to focus on Tony’s relationship with his narcissistic mother.
Spoiler Alert: In Ordinary People, the 1980 Best Picture Oscar winner, Mary Tyler Moore leaves behind her image as America’s sweetheart with her chilling portrayal of Beth Jarrett, the upper crusty mother who cannot forgive her scapegoated younger son for surviving a tragic boating accident in which her golden child older son died. (Read my full article about Ordinary People‘s spot-on portrait of a narcissistic family.)
In Precious, based on the devastating novel Push by Sapphire, Mo’Nique plays teenaged Precious’s terrifying and often sadistic mother. Mo’Nique, who won an Academy Award for the role as well as a standing ovation at the Oscars, managed to humanize her monster of a mother character with an almost pitiable view into her deranged rationale for the mental, physical, and sexual abuse she subjects her daughter to.
Spoiler Alert: In the 2008 Jonathan Demme (RIP) film Rachel Getting Married, Anne Hathaway plays a borderline personality disordered addict just out of rehab who makes everything about herself during her sister’s wedding weekend. But the real subterranean narcissist in the movie is the sisters’ mother, played deftly by Debra Winger.
Helpful? Buy me a coffee.Julie L. Hall is the author of The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free from Hachette Books. She is working on a memoir about life, and a few near deaths, in a narcissistic family (read excerpts).
Need support? Julie provides specialized narcissistic abuse recovery coaching to clients around the world.
Related Articles by Julie L. Hall
- Big Sissies: How and Why Narcissists Get Worse with Age
- The Narcissistic Family: Cast of Characters and Glossary of Terms
- Narcissist Parents Are Hurt Machines to Their Children
- What the Narcissist Fears Most
- Understanding Narcissistic Rage and Why It Is Not Your Fault
- The Challenge of Setting Boundaries with Narcissist Parents
- The Dos and Don’ts of CoParenting with a Narcissist Ex
- Horrid and Shocking Things Narcissists Say and Do
- The Overt Versus Covert Narcissist: Both Suck
- Seven Things Narcissists Will Never Do
- The Hidden Trauma of Neglect in the Narcissistic Family
- Enabling the Narcissist: How and Why It Happens
- How Narcissists Torture Others and Believe They’re Right to Do It
- Seven Sure-Fire Ways to Spot a Narcissist
- Maddening and Bizarre Things Narcissists Do Explained
- Behind the Narcissist Mask: The Bully, Coward, Liar and Fraud
- Why You Should Not Feel Sorry for the Narcissist
- Adult Children of Narcissists Face Trauma-Induced Health Risks
- Raised by a Narcissist? 11 Healing Things to Do for Yourself Right Now
- What Raging Narcissists Break: A Real-Life Damage List
- The Dilemma of the Golden Child in the Narcissistic Family
- Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness
- The Narcissism Disease Cluster in Families and How to End the Cycle
- A Daughter’s Story of One Hell of a Narcissistic Mother
- The Narcissist Parent’s Psychological Warfare: Parentifying, Idealizing, and Scapegoating
- Raised by Narcissists? Why You Can’t Afford the Wrong Therapist
- 4 Insidious Ways That Narcissistic Abuse Isolates the Victim
- It’s You and Me Baby: Narcissistic Head Games
- Identifying the Covert Narcissist in Your Life: A Checklist
- How and Why Narcissists Are Highly Skilled Abusers
- The Strength of the Scapegoat in the Narcissistic Family
- Life in the Fun House: Narcissistic Mirroring and Projection
- The Paradox of the Narcissist’s Unrequited Self-Love
- A Golden Child Story of Guilt in the Narcissistic Family
- How to Protect Your Children from Your Narcissist Spouse
- 9 Best of the Worst Narcissist Mothers on Screen
- Understanding the Narcissist’s Disrespect, Envy, and Contempt
- Healing a Sense of Foreshortened Future in Adult Children of Narcissists
- The Narcissist’s Caretakers: Caught Hook, Line, and Sinker
16 Comments
You can add one more, Marie Barone, the mother from “Everyone Loves Raymond”and playe by Doris Roberts. She can be very funny but when you are living it the laughter ends with a very sad heart.
Hi Dee. Yes, I’ve seen enough of the show to recognize her narcissism, which indeed quickly becomes unfunny for those of us who have lived the reality.
Judy Gellar from “Friends” always stands out to me!
Yes, great example.
Roseanne on the Roseanne show. The first two seasons, her character was reasonably balanced and the writing was funny. However, beginning in season three, she became meaner and meaner and targeted any family member or friend who interrupted her narcissistic supply. It got brutal and I stopped watching but those first two seasons are still comedy gold.
Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory. You can come at me all you want with the Asperger’s defense but if you look closely, you’ll notice his character can read people’s emotions just fine, especially after the second season–that’s how he’s able to control, punish, and lash out at them. In particular, at Leonard, who is so codependent, it’s excruciating. A glance at either one’s narc mother seals the deal. As with the Roseanne show, Sheldon descends into narcissism as the writers ultimately realize that heightened conflict gets ratings.
I don’t know about recent shows; I gave away my television in 2006. After you’ve been through a lifetime of narc abuse, conflict just isn’t funny anymore.
Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest. Everyone wants to defend Joan Crawford like she was some kind of saint and vilify Christina Crawford. Don’t ever forget that narcissistic mothers are incredibly good actors/actresses to the outside world and are loved and adored by all. That is part of their game, but to live under the roof of a narcissistic parent is a completely different world. Trust me, no one would ever believe me if I told them some of the stuff my mother has done to me. Beatings, sabotaging my successes, belittling me in front of my child, verbal abuse, ignoring me until I serve her purpose, withholding love and affection, stealing from me, the list goes on. Everyone loves and adores her, sympathizes with her and views her abuse as coming from a place of love, that is part of the lie. I keep her at arms length now and suffer a host of ailments from a lifetime of stress and abuse such as: chronic back pain, inflammatory bowel disease, panic attacks, peripheral neuropathy and ptsd. Don’t believe the lie! If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship with your parents, seek the truth. Your parents are human, you are not required to worship them and deny their faults.
Emily Gilmore…!
Yes!
If I may add, Lwaxana in Star Trek next generation. She is a Deanna Troi’s mother and draws special pleasure from putting her daughter on the spot
I am so glad that I decided to read into NDP. I thought my dysfunctional relationship with my mother was an unfortunate highly complicated one that was somehow my fault. I am of course the scapegoat and have always been. I have always withdrawn to try to be invisible rather than put down or be anywhere near my older brothers spotlight. Reading these articles is like reading a biography of my life. It has started a healing process in me which I needed so badly!
Gemma Teller (Sons of Anarchy) is another great example of a narc mother.
The mother sissy spacek played in tv series bloodline… Danny the scapegoat, John the favoured, the daughter the hero, another son forgotten … in the end they are all sociopaths
Tangled and sharp objects
I would also add Caroline Roy, the mother on HBO’s “Succession”. Though the patriarch, Logan Roy, has a much bigger role and also an extreme narcissist, both parents are absolutely horrendous. The show is brilliantly done but my god,, is it painful to watch.
The mother who poison her daughter to death in The Sixth Sense, a perfect example of a Munchausen by proxy case.
I can’t believe everyone has overlooked Scarlet O’Hara in “Gone With the Wind”. This movie was released in 1940, which significantly predates widespread knowledge and awareness of narcissistic personality disorder. Margaret Mitchell’s genius is the comprehensive display of almost all aspects of NPD and the havoc it releases on her many victims. This movie should be watched for its value in displaying this, plus it’s a great movie. It is very long, with an intermission. It is a tragedy that will make anyone uncomfortable who has dealt with a covert narcissist.